I think I'd like to name our band 'Certain Death' because the word certain provokes a trust, a definite, a strong opposite of lack, and a strong and narrow jawline; while death makes us seem naive about our whole situation. It also makes us look like a metal band. But we aren't a metal band, but I think metal band fans will like us. Cuz our name is that cool. And we'll throw Reese's at the crowd. That'll be a good show, people will enjoy that good show. "I saw Certain Death and they gave out reesies." Right? We can paint the Target logo on your kick drum but like with a different shade of red. Targets are cool, they're all like look at this for violent reasons but we're joking. Also we should have half alive sharks on stage out of water, have 4 minute of silence before each song, slowly build a wall in front of us, have a song of cleaning noises, say we're Pavement, tell everyone we are going to a hanging after the show, make constant references to Pluto the Dog but they are only as far reaching as that he is a dog, forget how to count, and speed walk to all our shows narrowly making it in time before our set. Certain Death? Our album titles can be like inside jokes. Cuz bands. Bands cool.
You were Plaid and you never talk about it: Throwing Bones
Your Self Portrait in Junior High: accurate enough
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