Hiawata! - These Boys and This Band is All I Know

Reasons why you are Tim Allen

-Everytime the TV says 'Stay Tuned' you do scales

-You spend all your money on ways to breath better

-When asked what your spirit animal is, before you have a chance to answer, someone always interrupts with "Parrot Ape Hybrid"

-Your limit for cost of a drink is $6

-The last time you took responsibility for your own actions, you had to take down the castle you made of Twizzlers

-you describe things as 'golden' to much

-this is slander

-you try to befriend security guards if they have shaved heads

-you are impresed by people who can break boards

-you wrote 3 soap operas all titled "as the turtleneck drops"

-you have been divorced from 19 dogs and still owe them all the matching jackets you promised

-you masturbate to the Bonnie Hunt Show, but only during commercial breaks

-you're indestructible

-you don't get The Office, but tell people its your favorite show

-Rome if you want to

-Everytime you make eggs, they don't turn out white

-You break your friend's swimming pools consistently

-you're bringing Megawhore Back

-You are not allowed in Planes that go over Iceland

-you only eat turkey on Thanksgiving, but the fact that you do drives you away from people

I Enjoy Christmas More: Put Me Down

You Can Create Autobiographies for Fictional Characters: Yukon Cornelius

Lovers Love Haters - EP

Meeting Brian Dennehy was the thrill of my life, only because I thought he was a bear that turned into a human. I asked him all the normal questions, 'how late do you stay up?', 'how many times have you nonpurposely seen Holly Hunter naked?', 'when's dinner?', 'after you finish up can you take out the garbages?'. He responded with answers I can only describe as normal but I was too distracted by his garb. A tshirt and jeans? This was a hollywood star who has appeared on the likes of a just shoot me, and he denegrates himself to a 80 dollar designer tee? I was so taken that I started jabbing toothpicks in his side and chest. I used them as steps and holdings to climb the massive actor. I climbed to the deepest high peek in the burlsome man's face and spray painted a rainbow distillery labeled with 'Our Neighboring Thumbs'. I then climbed to the summit, the top of his head and saw all that the world was offering. My life was made here, in the thick air in thin hair. I started hearing rumblings from below, and I felt my sainthood melting- it was time for Dennehey to go, to be shared by another.  I greased myself from the blood and saliva of a dead water bison found along the brim of the ear and slid down to safety, smelling the overpowering man scent as I came closer to his taint. I will never forget my time on Brian Dennehey, for he was eating my children at the time.

Your life story after you lost the weight: Dead End Trail

The Demographic for Action Movies: people who don't know who Amy Adams is

Noisettes - Wild Young Hearts

We gave the baby blocks to help it to learn words vertically. We gave the baby a soul patch to make people hate it, as to learn self worth. We gave the baby the arc d'triumph because we had it. We gave the baby a hoveround because it was fun seeing the dynamic. We gave the baby distance because it was in one of its moods. We gave the baby a baby who gave it larger hands. We grave the baby a french last name. We made the baby's hit and run look like an accident because the format of this sentence is different. This baby never had a chance, you gotta see it from our perspective. Its father was of normal intelligence... its mother- also of normal intelligence (Bob LaMonta). This baby had all its hopes on being a supreme court justice before it learned to eat. This baby is a bike whose horn sounds like a cough. This baby is 1192 AD and sees the folly of technology. Its shirt is suicidal and its eating the news.

Output of a Pine Tree Shaped Fruit Scented Car Air Freshner: Cheap Kicks

Animal Vigilante Bio: Above the Claw

Amen Dunes - Dia

So we were making chalkboards last Friday and watching Wife Swap Season Finale when all of a sudden we were watching commercials asking us, US!, to buy products. They used visuals and information to try and persuade us into buying these products and services. Of al the nerve. This isn't even New Orleans, where they need to buy. I mean jazz music by the water? That is just a rip off of Egypt and the Nile. Egyptian music is all about ups and bounces. And Egypt is the tannest place in Africa. We also care about their history more for some reason. History is for sidewalks anyway. Their development into the proud side roads for people and dugs and dogs and Latin American cuisine they are today. The first sidewalks were actually open faced gutter pipes for human waste and surfing rats. And thats why we have reality TV: so that one day we can have important reality TV. Its your matter and our selfishness. Together America and Strategic Relief Plans. This now evermore.

Your View is Broad,  but your district is small: Fleshless Esta Mira, Wife of Space

Sometimes I feel Obliged to tell: I wrote this on the toilet.

Memorial Day Cop Out

Memorial Day means we made it!

Top 10 Kids Incorporated Videos I Watched this weekend.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

Looking here is a bonus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTmmieh4Vsw

Telemundo Today: Univision Forever

Es - Kesämaan Lapset

I like these shorts cuz they have parrot feather lining. The back pocket is marigold woven into a microwave button panel and the baggyness is proportional to my mood.

I like your band cuz they reference Tom Robbins just below the amount it would be considered ripping off Tom Robbins. Pablo Neruda, thats a different story? "Heavenly key to mayonnaise"? Nice try.

I like the way your dad plays Mouse Trap... not only does he set it up for us, he doesn't care that we are high.

I like that puppet show on public access. The way the voice doesn't match up to the puppet mouth is more a comment on our society? Are we really saying what we are saying? Does the cat puppet perceived bad boy image distract us from the fact that he is of lesser quality than the other puppets- ergo do we look down upon those that ask to be judged? Does our host and only human ally have all the answers and have all the answers in song? Will being polite actually kill me?

I like hind legs cuz they have more vital muscles and the connecting haunches have a lot of softer fur. They may take longer to cook, but its more than worth the wait.  Also the back paws make better key chain add ons.

I like the calmness one gets after a series of maddening events. The talking of the way down is stressful and calamitous, but the reward upon realizing the capabilities of one's darkside is fervent and can be stored away. Know thy powers, work on them, let them out later. The calming factor is a brooding one. Don't show your cards, let them think things are fine. Time will come, darkness shall reign.

I like old people swimming. Very fun to watch. Very detailed. Wet Wrinkles, ya know?

What Ought Got Bought in Irot: Kesä ja hymyilevät huulet

Backup Reference: Shabbir Banoobhai

Foot Village - Anti-Magic

Man seeks Women, preferably for sex and plumbing. Plumbing is both an innuendo and actually some maintenance work on my pipes, again this is both innuendo and fixing some clogs, also innuendo and manual labor, which is of course only innuendo. But seriously, my upstairs sink is retaining. Which brings me to my next point of qualitutification: Can you give the hang ten sign with your toes? Are most of your clothes reversible? Do you stereotype salads? Has your lower back ever been described as "God's Post It Note"? Is "God's Post It Note" a term you can see yourself with? Is that you inside the whack a mole? Can you do what I think beef is as a verb? If this sounds like you, or this sounds like you: "wee-AWW" then I think we are a match made in Heaven. Coincidently, I make matches and my match company is called heaven. Heaven Burning Down  Matches. since 2007. "We Make Your Wildest Dreams about Matches Come more True than if you did nothing 2007." Also, can I borrow 5 dollars?

If you are LeBron and Dwight Howard fouls out, you take your shot: T.A.K.E.

for Nourishment: in Moderation

Bowerbirds - Upper Air

You can't do impressions on the internet, take 1:

Thomas Haden Church- "OK man, just because I'm standing over here- doesn't mean I'M LOOKING OVER THERE. Hello? Listen, you got to get some facts straight (lights cigarette), I can't help being this attractive yet this oblivious to women's needs or desires. Can't. Not my M.O. if you know what I'm saying, chief. "

Tom Everett Scott's Church- (church door opens) (church bells ring) (people clamoring, "good morning"s) (hymns "Jesus is Alive with Crosses the Rock")(sermon) (people leaving) (clown horns) (bullets being shot) (dentist drills) (Oprah theme) (crying followed by a loud and overbearing AMEN).

Thomas' Haden Fox - "Geez, Jerry Van Dyke Character, that situation didn't call for that. O man, Christine! I forgot!"

Another thing - "An Indonesian paper company is planning to log an area of unprotected jungle which is being used as a reintroduction site for about 100 critically endangered orangutans, activists said Tuesday. A coalition of environmental groups said a joint venture between Asia Pulp & Paper and Sinar Mas Group had received a licence to clear the largest portion of natural forest remaining outside Bukit Tigapuluh national park on Sumatra."

Skills to pay the Bills, Buddha Stalin: House of Diamonds

Judy Funnie: you're just too much sometimes 

Rock Plaza Central - ...at the Moment of our Most Needing, or If Only They Could Turn Around, They Would Know They Weren't Alone

When marching up and down the quarry, the best outfit to wear to hide our hair scars would be the mesh tank one piece. Now grow a slight mustache and see if your legs can get any longer. Try stretching them, or threatening them with a torch. Torches tell posters are on sale in the lobbial after mint dinner. Now to properly propel yourself forward during the anti-gravity zone, one must counter balance the atomosphere by being flannel. To achieve this simply think hard and blend together. Your brain may turn into a putty or glue like substitute, but nothing that eating ice cream very quickly won't cure. Now, you only need three toes to participate, but we are asking you to save your extra toes in case of emergency and to donate the excess toe nails in the collection basket. Now the rolling of the eyelid can be tricky, but it is simple enough. Just stretch out the eyelid as far as it can, have a friend or boultan sergeant assist if necessary, and then pull up with the index and middle finger while pushing down with the thumb betwixt them until a wet pop is heard. This must be done until the lid is permenanted by drying and clotting. For the record, dragons do exist but they are more swine than lizard therefore try to slay as many as you can, for that will compensate you for the complimentary breakfasts. So before we jaunt, just a show of hands- how many of you are me?.... twtwtw, one, twwtwwtwttt..... Just the one of me are you. Great, move along.

For You Did a Great Job on Those Reports: The Hot Blind Earth

Restaurant Men's Room, Rest Stop Facilities: Thanks for all the Soap

Cam'ron - Crime Pays

"Gentleman, we are at a standstill in can technology. Let me here your ideas." "A cane that can be wrapped around your neck, like a necklace, a necklace that can be taken off and straightened to walk on like a cane would." "We already tryed that in the 70s, its how slap bracelets were invented." "How about canes that can harness the soul's of young men upon the realization of their manhood and harness that energy to keep a cane sturdy and maybe maybe make it glow- I call it The Brother and I have a prototype here filled with college graduates and new fathers." "That was a plot on CBS's Ghost Givings starring Lowren Borigue" "A cane that gives diabetes?" "Already Made." "A cane that is an Arby's to smurfs" "Change the Arby's to a Hotel with an Arby's in it, and contact Duracel about cross promotion and then get back to me when I'm dead." "A closet that also is a beach that also is a wheel on the Price is Right that is also your childhood memories of swimming in public pools, all complete with matching smells and sexual sensations." "Gentlemen- we are all assholes and this is the best batch of stupid and maligned cane ideas I have ever heard!" "Gaydar is a made up word... we can fake that?" "This is! This is!"

Autopsy County USA: Bottom of the Pussy

When People Use Menu Items as Racial Slang: That's A Deal Breaker, Ladies

DD/MM/YYYY - Black Square

"You don't love your mother cuz you can't pic' out good mother's day cards" is how that book ended. Nicely written well done good going. My neighbor recommended it to me. So my neighbor also was talking about that in Tokyo they have a giant water slide thats all spiral down and it wraps around a giant Betty Boop, and theme is a realistic Alabama wilderness mountain river. IN TOKYO. Can you believe it? My neighbors seen a web site of it. They are the upstairs neighbors. The ones a first I didn't like because they all rode those tinier bikes but they said it makes them go faster, which it does, I've seen them come in second in a race out of 5 and they were pretty close to first. But also their kitchen is directly above my kitchen, and I just detected that they were cooking greasier foods, but then it was just like they were cooking grease. And it left like this gay leakage coming down to my kitchen. But that was before I actually met them. I mentioned the queer leakage to them once, and it went away and never was brought up again. My neigh bors love alligator milk and run a blog about glass eye maintenance. He hates children though. Never seen him go within 100 yards of the playground or swimming pool or ice cream pool or Eddsville Adult Coloring Book Store for Kids. He lives with his mother who I believe was in Vietnam and Desert Storm and shot at Clinton once. She has this pink nightie. So cute. Also- I can hear them fucking each other.

Certain Satin Relieves the Load: $50,000 Guitar Gear

The World Wins: they are bite size for a reason

Cass McCombs - Catacombs

This is my son's girlfriend's son. We don't get along. What with him being a baby with no real father figure. And me, a father figure with no real reason to care about any baby. I'm not judging his mother, I am judging his mother's parents. They went to school with me. They were popular. They still don't get Pink Floyd. And they have a teenage mother and are grandparents in their 40s. I just know the baby. I know him. I'm not trying to effect his life, I'm just here. He has seen me read the paper. My son is 16 is not the father. Which after some reasoning, have realized he lost his virginity younger than I have. I am proud as a father, but now, seeing his current choice of meat bangers- I have to stand aside and hope and hope that I don't effect my son's baby he knows therefore I know's life. This baby's tshirts have read: mommy's little slugger, my 1st depressing tshirt, spoilt et rotteneus, my lesbian grandmas drive trucks, i heart cold calling. I am 44 years old. I have just begun to fantasize about young girls. And now I am faced with a baby. My son has killed my boners before, but this has gone too far too fast too furt. Thats the real reason. I think I should rent a movie about this, its probably an independent feature. I'm not as old as Tom Wilkinson. Maybe I should find out the baby's name before I judge it. Anything more than 2 syllables and this kid has no chance.  I am talking about a broken family's hard time and hoping it doesn't affect me when it clearly already has. Who am I talking to? You're a machine that processes movable springs in vending machines that holds candy or other items? Thats interesting, lets here more about you.

There isn't a quicker way to mow the lawn?: Lionkiller Got Married

More than you Thinks: rappers who love Burt Reynolds

The Phantom Band- Checkmate Savage

I think I'd like to name our band 'Certain Death'  because the word certain provokes a trust, a definite, a strong opposite of lack, and a strong and narrow jawline; while death makes us seem naive about our whole situation. It also makes us look like a metal band. But we aren't a metal band, but I think metal band fans will like us. Cuz our name is that cool. And we'll throw Reese's at the crowd. That'll be a good show, people will enjoy that good show. "I saw Certain Death and they gave out reesies." Right? We can paint the Target logo on your kick drum but like with a different shade of red. Targets are cool, they're all like look at this for violent reasons but we're joking. Also we should have half alive sharks on stage out of water, have 4 minute of silence before each song, slowly build a wall in front of us, have a song of cleaning noises, say we're Pavement, tell everyone we are going to a hanging after the show, make constant references to Pluto the Dog but they are only as far reaching as that he is a dog, forget how to count, and speed walk to all our shows narrowly making it in time before our set. Certain Death? Our album titles can be like inside jokes. Cuz bands. Bands cool.

You were Plaid and you never talk about it: Throwing Bones

Your Self Portrait in Junior High: accurate enough

Tobacco - Allegheny White Fish Tapes

COP OUT ENTRY: list of thing that are better in covered in other things

Ant Hills- Dropped Ice Cream Scoops

LaBrea Tar Pits- Modeling Chocolate

Vegetables- Bacon

The Sea- The Sea Salt

Competitive Eating-Weed Smoke

America- Expansion

David Lee Roth- Van Halen

Church- Water Parks

Soulja Boy-  Crank Dat

Moby- Anyone Else Who Sings

Tom Robbins Novels- A pristine humor

Scandals- Fart Noises

Set Up Lines- dry fact based articulation

Animal Collective- Avey Tare

karate lessons- blonde teens

vietnam flashbacks- shower scenes

Bluto- Popeye's fist

Waffle House Hash Browns- also smothered

Safety Videos- child stars of the 90s (here's looking at you Taran Noah Smith)

Sugar Coated Cereal - Milk (duh) (double duh) (tri-duh fish, its delicious)

Africa- Athletes

Coldplay Albums- Early U2 albums

Sense- Sensibilty

Cheap Shots- Andy Dick

MTV2- irrelvant

Statutory Rape- Theme Music

List of things that are better off without things

Fred Durst- ball caps

This- more

If you hear your county throw your hands up: I Saw Brown

Most disparaging attractivness between female/male species: the clam (humans a close 2nd)

Doubel Dagger - More

Country girl ascertains "big lights are the devil's fingernails, I like to spit in the dirt and mix it in with the freedom air and big sky making a mud american Jesus would've caked off his sandal and healed a deaf person with." City boy refirmeshes "out here is just elbow room, I can take you to where you can use those elbows to elbow people and to use those elbows for proping up and probing out. there is so much concrete to drag across and have you ever tasted anything kosher?" Country girl guiles "I have a porch where I can sit for days without being bothered cept for moon bugs and cotton polyps. I can use the same towel for years and its not weird if my bathe takes 4 hours." City boy taltatas "I feel the cold of morning floor and the swelter of fat men in the subway. I see children scolded and I've seen children treated like afterthoughts. I've seen food dropped. Do you know what it feels like to see another human being be in a hurry with food and then have that person weebble wobble to an affectation that leads them to ruin that food? It feels great. It feels fucking great. I GIVE HOMEMADE CHANGE TO HOMELESS PEOPLE- they say inspirational messages on them like 'try horseplay' or 'I'm a cop', and I get more jokes on Letterman! You can't take that away from me' Country girl parlays emotion thru speaking "I can shoot a bow and arrow with my crotch. I kill things weaker than I. You don't know my life, you don't know that puking during sex turns me on. I own 3 sets of clothes and I actually want to be raped. SO YES- take me to your Soddom, take me to this gomorraha- or punch me in the vagina with this horseshoe and rape me. Rape me hard." City boy finalizes "Here take this first."

This is your fourth CD already and you still should be bigger: Two Way Mirror

Insensitive Lifetime Movie: Bitch gone missin'

The Shivers - In the Morning

From: Ray Day [mailto:rayday@fountainfeats.com]  Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:35 AM To: Ossie O Subject: RE: roomarootoor

Not nary am I disappointed in you, but more so, am disappointed in I. I made you this way. I am to blame too blamed. adast thee, my world weary friend. and take thine own suff-bearance to a plain sought tithering to the highest wail...... OSSIE I INTENTIONALLY SAID THAT TO GO OVER YOUR HEAD. TAKE THE 21.85 DOLLARS OUT OF MY ROOM AND GO TO THE WENDY'S UNTIL I COME GET YOU.

PS. don't use your business address anymore, it goes directly to SPAM 

 

From: Ossie O [mailto:Ossie@.SoEntInc.Prolax.org] Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:32 AM To: Ray Day Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

Right now reading yurtle the turtle. apparantly the shell can take a lot of pressure, which is a relief. also communism seems to have its weaknesses. ypu? You sure are stupid sumtimez. I already experimented on the turtles giving them a direct line from their turtle brains to the TV. Its working, cuz now they can breath smoke! LOL GAG CUC.

---

From: Ray Day [mailto:rayday@fountainfeats.com]  Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:28 AM To: Ossie O Cc: thisaintnorodeo@yahoo.com; Catlin Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

ossie, type with yr hands open. we took those classes. also- thanks about my grandfather. and what are ypu planning to do with those turtles? leave them alone til i get home @ 4:30.

 

 

From: Ossie O [mailto:Ossie@.SoEntInc.Prolax.org] Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:25 AM To: Ray Day Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

I did some turtle research. THEY CAN BEAT RABBITS IN RACES. I didnt thik it wa truw at fursdt buy a hare is a reavbbbit! Alsso- he's dyingg njot deasd.

 

---

From: Ray Day [mailto:rayday@fountainfeats.com] 

Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:23 AM To: Ossie O Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

dammit ossie. If the turtles are weak, we can recycle their shells and turtle meat is axxually tasty.  You are not supposed to open mail with my name on it. Remember what you learned in class. And its Splinter.

 

From: Ossie O [mailto:Ossie@.SoEntInc.Prolax.org]

Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:22 AM To: Ray Day Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

You can't tell me how not to do with stuff when I can't hear you. You mean these turtles shouldn't be trained to bid correctly? We can have a master turtle clan of Price is Right turtle contestants! They are weak they need my guidance. I think I'm like Splitter! From show? hahahahaha. O- I just opened all the mail its easier. You're grandfather is dying.

 

---

From: Ray Day [mailto:rayday@fountainfeats.com]  Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:20 AM To: Ossie O Subject: RE: roomarootoor

 

Ossie, those turtles are for a magic trick. Don't touch them. Don't open any more of my mail.

 

From: Ossie O [mailto:Ossie@.SoEntInc.Prolax.org] Sent: Wednesday, May 06, 2009 11:01 AM To: Ray Day Subject: roomarootoor

 

Who raised these turtles? They seem like they were spoiled, or at least were given less a chance in life. I think I would be  father figure to them. I mean if they were around longer, I mean.  Show them what they're made of :-0

 

Ossie Oatnmenel

Public Marketing Coordinator and See Thru Specialist

Soaktown Ent. Inc. Prolax

10983 Lobe Hill Drive

Manther, KA 75178

665-884-3555 ext. 4994

Ossie@.SoEntInc.Prolax.org

 

Hunk Used to mean Attractive: Just DIdn't Need to Know

It so hard to find a working garbage can: at a Furniture store

Mount Eerie - White Stag

When  I had a time machine I went back in time I took a whole lotta swans with me. Thats my calling card. It just is. I don't know when swan's evolved, but wow- cavepeople killed anything. And you haven't seen the crucifixion until you seen swans fly into crosses, not knocking them over, but shaking them just enough comically. Swans ate most of the manna during that one bible thing I remember. Swan feathers help distract Annie Frank from breaking the law. Recently- I just started going to random prom and even fake proms for movies. Swans just seem to fit there, and twas there I realized that I should use my gift of releasing swans thru time for good. No more hanging swans by the neck in the background of important movies. No more bringing swans to important developmental moments in the live's of geniuses. No more convincing Van Gogh to only paint with swan dicks. No more rehashing old jokes so you can get a blog entry out of the way. I mean we're better than this. This is the same shit you've been peddling for 23 years now. Expand and re-pand. Give up this fight. Its been over since you were 15. Think to yourself for yourself. Be a man with a plan in the hand. Your sleeping dog is lying. Brush and be, you've learned nothing and that's a good thing. Your bed is pretty comfortable, but you've never been to heaven. Keep flour in your pocket. You're getting and its showing. Step almost to 1.

Beat Up Your Dad: "I didn't look at track names yet"

Blow Drying is a term: Not a code

Peaking Lights - Imaginary Falcons

There was a conversation that led to most pool table carpet being green. There was a man who defied and argued against the green sheen on the billiard machine. This man time has forgotten and even refused to remember.  All this man wanted was the chance to shoot balls into pockets in a different color. This man was not foolish, just extravagant in his demeanor. He toiled for abnormal. He died for something, maybe not non green pool table lining, maybe not for cancer, but because cancer. But that man didn't die in vain. Pool tables today can be custom made with bible verses, advertisements for leaner cuisener, your dead hunting dog, your fake patriotism, parrot feathers, guava lips, sturgeon ferris, line handled honesty, mursgopa--- i lost it there huh? But there are blues to be pooled, other shades of green to be balled upon. I think it was the guy who pushed for hearts and diamonds on playing cards who said "what the fuck does care fucking care?" And with that, a baby got his first gold tooth, the hair part was de-invented, and purses go smaller. All is calm, all is well. Sunrise, Sunsip.

Opposite Correlation to time it took to write and quality (for me): All The Good Songs Have been Written

What Freud said: your mom

City Center - City Center

Year 3004 Port A- Syro System Twenty Five Pound Bags Baseball Club Majori League Base and ball.

Yes, its another year for the 25lb Baggers. Last years finish in the 45th runner up to Sceration Section 2 Galaxial Series was disappointing given the talent of this bal club. Right. So lets get to the opening day roster sponsered by Jyro-spewzz One Time Use Pet Collars.

Leadoff hitter, and 5 legged center-fielder- Wyndamer Anstel from the mutant section of Earth in Cabo San Lucas.

Wind Powered 3rd and 4th baseman- Hine Swatter Lefffv - he, er, it is a Curmonit and therefore can't digest, giving him good opposite field pull.

The Physical Formation of Hubris bats third and is the catcher.

Hitting clean up and in left field is President Friday D. Mubbgleofly, now he is President of the East United States, not to be confused with West US President Hanspread Johns, who is dying.

The first Animal to ever play in league history Carew the Bear is playing 1st base tonight.

Hitting 6 is short stop Saur the Impendant, who is sentenced to play this game for life after making Cilantro extinct.

Right Fielder Fielding Richmond, certified Astropolytheistic Science metanuclear Genius two times over. Legend of the game in his 30th season- used to be able to bunt for a home-run.

And for mandatory comic relief we have the ghost of James Carey- comedic actor from a thousand years ago. He's manning 2nd tonight and will be doing scenes from Lemony Snicket's Series of Misfortunate Events.

Ando finall0 hitting 9th and pitching, as always, is setting 4 on pitch on matic.

Those are things I said and now things are going on. Lets have sports on!

Thats you in 6 months and you look great: Life Was a Problem

Impressive Food: Lobster filled with Steak