Johann Johannsson - And In the Endless Pause There Came the Sound of Bees

I don't think they would play basketball in heaven. I think they might have for like a minute (a minute in heaven is like 1000 years on earth cuz ooo God knows what its worth). But basketball would make heaven explode. You wouldn't get tired and there would be no missed shots. There would be no gay overtones and showboating would be discouraged. You wouldn't get paid to do it and the heaven paparazzi doesn't care. God's basketball is also a baby brontosaurus mandible and the court is made of crosses. There is no real skill in heaven basketball, just an exercise in keeping up appearances and remembering old tattoos. "I used to have an egyptian onc tattoo, but heaven ya know?" Also fishing in heaven mainly consists of not remembering your heritage and re-learning how to talk. While jogging in heaven is knowing what jogging is. They do have Olympics in Heaven and that is mainly just not being attracted to anyone and fearing God. Thats what middle america is training for and they are doing a good job if you don't count the fact that they masturbate to photos of livestock=christian rock=two dudes sharing comfortably=grace=nike brand=The Hours=the connotations of islands=flugal sax smeth code #3=the correlation of dreaming and shedding= what children refer to the bad guy at the end of each level (BOSS)=I sure didn't.

You are a quarter cherokee, get off my land: The Flat

We Though of a Bandname: Dark Bichon

Hello Seahorse - Bestia

A man hugs with his forearms up against the person he is hugging. If the person the man is hugging is a bigger man- then he proceeds in a manner where the hug back received has the forearms touching above his. This is only when if the man initiates the hug. If the person is a man of smaller size then the proceeding hug should be grasped until either a faint squeak is heard from party hugged, or the hugging party rubs the fingers against the back such as one would stroke a guitar made of baby zombie (gentle but with a violent intent). If the hugee is the same size, then the arms should swooped downward intersecting at the elbows with the hug intiator on the outside unless they are related then there should be an equal elbow from each party on the outside. If there is a woman involved then all previous rules should met with pre arranged placement of the breasts. A suggestion would be for two women to alternate the breasts. When hugging a teenager it is suggested to picture hugging grain or seeds as to defer arousal. When hugging lettuce picture cabbage. When hugging in all caps use a sheath of lamb skin. When hugging who- how? When hugging Lauraleen Adams- call 1-800-weepy-cleavage. NOW GO!

Your mother is going back to Florida: Miercoles

What Crickets Do: Nothing to Scarves

Nomo - Invisible Cities

"Don't you hate getting the cramps? I mean its like get out of my way before I make you into a shelf to put my collectable crystal turtle shells on and discard the rest of your body! Its just like gimme that midol or I'm going to shove a stick down your throat to churn your insides into butter! Right, right...  every month I do this... right, right. It's like my insides are giving birth to the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard but the chalkboard has nerve endings and the fingernails are actually sharpened bones still attached to child burn victims. Its like I can't function without my coffee in mornings. But whoa- like a white blinding rage where I have no sense of my strength or conscience and I believe in the Suns of Xervna to obliterate non-believers of the 4th Triad of Verloorsna. Bloodbath, right!!! Haha, ohhhh. Like when I'm on the "dish-towel" (the carpet sample, the hair clippings glued together, the severed skunk tail) I just want wear these size XXXL jogging pants, throw up without feeling it, and watch the West Wing to make me really horny with at the same time curbing that horniness back down to throwing up. I mean, am I right ladies, am I right?"

Check your shocks, I hear some squeakin': Waiting

Hill William: Horse Dentist

Zs - Music of the Modern White

Cue the molten lava... aaaand ACTION!............................ cut, cut, cut, cut cut cut- CUT. I said molten lava. What kind of lava is this? I want molten! When Dom Embergerio wants La-va that is Molten, Dome Embergerio will get lava that is molten. I don't know what this is, this is some kind of huckleberry lava... like a stag party lava... THERES NO GLOW TO IT- no mystique... no molten. Molten lava shymies better. If I have to explain this to you, you might as well as start packing your bags and hope Service Merchandise comes back in business cuz you are going to be fired not like the lava you have provided. MOLTEN LAVA. Its probably the word most associated with lava. What you gave me is like standing lava, like stagnant lava, lava puddles a lava monster would go around on his daily lava jog to build his lava heart a lava rate. So can you get me molten? Try a volcano. Or that new store 'Be my Lava' I guess its a play on words but I don't get it, so your next task is to decipher it for me. But after you get me some molten lava. Alright? Now, go.

Same Day Review: as Pitchfork!

Untold Relationship Intrigue: Elmo and the Cookie Monster