My cat recently started evolving. Its good really... to prove a theory like that. Still its a cat, namely a house cat named "Mop", and his evolving, though beneficial to the planet, is hard on me. For example- Mop now can start fires. Once Mop discovered this fairly prolific step, he uses it to heat cat food, slow roast mice, burn dog houses, and he puts cat nip in a spoon over a flame and sells it to high school kids. He also fucks more. Thats probably the worst of the situation. His evolved state lets him fuck strays and leave them. Which I guess is cool for him, because he recognizes that these cats have no real conscience and just want to fuck, and he's still young and doesn't want to settle down. But every morning I see a different cat leave the apartment and when I make eye contact with them- such shame. These cat's were kittens once. Also there is a constant smell of Pussy's Pussy. Recently Mop started wearing shirts. I wrote in an online cat chat room that I didn't know whether to wash his shirts for him, or let the cat figure it out himself. The chatroom said they loved my schtick and I am now MCing their monthly get together at the PetSmart parking lot. There are some benefits to Mop's evolving. He can recognize when I'm bull shitting him, and our relationship is rounding out nicely. He also shits more consistently. If he continues to evolve, I plan on asking him to go down on me. Cat tounges are rougher.
Vain Provocateur Mix Tape for More Rope Candy Campaign: Vulture
The Next Fad in Grave Robbing: Hands
No comments:
Post a Comment