Are you getting phased out? Classic signs are: recognizing the signs. not getting a birthday cake when you lie about your birthday. being chased by dinosaurs. renewed kinship with birdbathes. more time spent on porches. not swimming during beach trips to the beach morgue. you dress like that. anal seepage. developed admiration for Hagar the Horrible. teddy bear condoms. getting off on not finishing concrete pools for friends and loved ones. using rulers to measure. typing with 2 hands. constantly telling people that you call it the forest not the woods. gaining weight. loosing weight. handshakes literally. you use best intentions. you cry at funerals. you get suspended from high school. vents seem larger. vents seem normal size. you know who Miranda Cosgrove is. you know who killed the radio star. you have friends in other states. you like the magnets on your fridge. you're dying. you're the best friend of someone you know. you brush your teeth with a toothbrush you chose. breakdancing is still not interesting. you have vietnam flashbacks. you can feel the color indigo. you've walked the last three batters. you buy a case of rubber gloves for your future golden years. you're being phased out. you're on the cover of People. your daughter's breasts are perkier than yours. your favorite batman movie was that one. you watch your dog sleep more than you watch your dog wake up. you like banks. you know where vending machines are. you haven't used the word gang in 5 years. you're impressed by folding. you are soooooooooooooo much.
Blankets applied forcefully song of rebellion: Bootsy Bootsy
Literary Term: Scarecrow's Beachball: Pumpkin
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