"Thanks for selling me your arthritis, Jaqck. This is going to be so fun! First, I'm ganna get a whole bunch of ripe lemons and squeeze them onto all the eyes of those kids whose school bus crashed in my yard. The slow process will will be like chinese water torture, but with arthritic hands and lemon juice. Then I plan on getting a job at the Bo-bona Ev-ansana, or Rube Evens, and carry a whole shift of plates only to DROP them to the floor cuz of my new frail hands! What a day! And I can't wait to masterbate- I bet it'll take at least the summer, what with my turn-on being pain. My other turn-on is pickle juice, and you now hard those jars are to turn, and with my new arthritis- jars, which were once a bystander in everyday operandi, now will turn into cruel hard punishments of wanting to eat. Yes, arthritis will suit me well, I'll have to quit re-stringing bows, and say so long to my trademark thumbs up/thumbs down rating system for helping trauma victims re-learn sexual intercourse. More like thumb-joint up now. And whats this I just found out- arthritis makes you not want to trim your nails?! That's great, cuz I've been looking for a way to making wiping my ass more uncomfortable! Just super.
Music for a Disappointing Google Image Search: Paper Thin
Modern Fort: holding hands (and wishing)
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