Review: The Cone vs Cup Argument

Welcome to Dumb Review's theme week: 'Marketing Ice Cream Novelities'. Ice Cream is generally considered a treat, but getting us to buy a certain ice cream, well, that's a trick. Trick and Treat, so Marketing Ice Cream is basically Halloween's bastard older brother who ties up the phone when you're waiting for a call then calls the girl whose call you were waiting for hurting his finger in the process. SO- today's topic: The Cone vs Cup Argument.

In the 1970s, free love was out the door. And with that, so went the domination of the cone as a primary ice cream holder. Bowled ice cream was for the home or private get togethers. The cone signified that this ice cream came from somewhere else, that it was handed to you. Enter 'the cup' the symbol of american ingenuity. The cup was streamlined, for the man on the go. The cup said 'I don't need to eat the receptacle in which I am presented this ice cream.

Questions abounded when the cup was introduced: Does the cup hold more? Can I still get a spoon if I order a cone? How can I trick someone into saying they want to see me pee? The cone fought back though, coming in different shapes- the last great achievement being the waffle cone. The waffle cone could hold as many toppings as the cup, and had an air of prestige to it.

Now the argument exists to have a cup or cone. and believe me- this is one of the stupidest arguments to have, right behind adding milk before or after the cereal is poured, and slightly ahead of Best Foot Size. It's ice cream, there should be no argument. There should be coexistence, because there hardly is a difference that matters. People like what like in ways they like it. Cones are messier and that's awesome, but not everyone likes to be messy when eating. So really, there is no argument there, unless you are that much of a douchebag. For the record: I am assuming there might be at least 3/4ths of a person who cares.

And the business behind all this: Cones are marketed towards children, people on vacation, and women who feel sorry for themselves . While cups are there for the men who drive them there. They also invented the edible bowl. It costs more but ends the argument. Personally, I get both and complain if they don't let me. I call it "The Great Expansion" and promote it at world peace conferences.