Review: Hanson Fans

For all that's been said, but namely for all that's been done- there still exists Hanson fans. These people are the epitome of contradiction in that- they are to be applauded for their loyalty to something they should've grown out of years ago, while still drenched in the obliviousness that everyone is making fun of them for being a fan of something that shouldn't exist anymore.

Their argument is to judge the source material, and that I haven't given it a chance. "They've really matured since when they were popular" the argument goes. Yes- yes I believe that teenagers have matured. That is an 'of course they have'. If they didn't then you still wouldn't be a fan of them, and that's why I give you some credit. You have credit because you are a functioning human. But really now: You fell for it. Just because they try harder, which is a product of maturity, and are still doing it, be it slightly less derivative, does not make it good. My argument is that the music isn't good. Which, within Hanson fan, lumps me into 'just not getting it'.

Not getting it is totally fine when it comes to a band who I thought was pure marketing when I was still capable of being marketed to. I once heard a girl say, in a backhanded catty fashion, in reference to a Hanson- "Look at her, she got her hair cut like Zach's. She's just trying to make us jealous." Which is worse- wanting to look like a boy you have a crush on to impress girls or having been impressed by such that deed? So, yeah, that's an anecdote. An anecdote of why I won't and can't like Hanson. There are road blocks I gladly leave up. My foundation is firmly planted in another camp mainly because I was a boy when they were at the height of their popular.

But you still like them. Some of you. They still put out albums that bank off their name recognition and nostalgia. But you think they don't because 'you get it'. Because your foundation is entirely different from mine. If you look around, you'd be in the minority. Which is even more comforting to you because it makes you feel special that you still like them while others don't see what you think is so special. It's called selective marketing. It doesn't make you special, just designed to make you think you are. Which hopefully works because you need it because you fall for it. It's a catch-22. And I'm saying you only because I am mean and you wouldn't recognize the shame if I didn't. So in your defense- don't take me seriously, I switch tenses. I clearly don't get Hanson. And they played at Conan's Legally Prohibihibited From Being On Television Tour. And the rest of my entries are stupid and don't make sense. And Hanson's new album came out Tuesday which makes me capitalizing on them. No it doesn't .