Review: Watching People Eat: @Domino's

Firstly, I didn't even know we could eat at the Domino's. I knew they had a table, but I just assumed it was for people waiting for pick-up to sit at and wonder if they actually have a rest room to use. But now I see it. Why else would they have a table at a restaurant? Life makes so much sense now, for here we see a overweight woman wearing a stained/stretched 2002 Three Rivers Regatta Shirt complemented by black (sweat?) pants, with her daughter- a cannonball of a 6 year old- who has hair designed such as a crow would design a nest.

What are they dining on at this fine establishment at Domino's (who was gracious enough to slide a bounty of coupons under my door, so now I can pay 13 dollars and have enough food for 2 stoned meals)? Oh, looks like they are splitting a personal pan pizza. A personal pan pizza of 4 small slices. Between the, yes I'll say it, obviously wanting more mother and the ever growing child. Welcome to the saddest story ever.

Are they eating at this Domino's because this is their day out? God I hope not. Are they eating at the Domino's because they have no where else to go? That's an even worse option. There are no non-sad options of why this family of 2 would be eating at this Domino's. There is no wait staff. You pick up your food at the counter, where you also have to ask them for shake jars of pepper or cheese. There are 3 tables here.- two booth, and a two-seat table they are occupying. The only un-sad option is for them to try and evoke sympathy from Domino's patrons, such as myself, who have ordered way more than they need. But then that would be menacing of them, which is also sad that they are any degree of menace- because look where that got them in life!

"Momma, I'm still hungry," bemoans the daughter, licking the sauce and the stick cheese off the small container the personal pan pizza came in.

"Quiet and drink the Mountain Dew," the mother smacks back. The depressing duo have also split a small Mountain Dew, the saddest of all carbonated beverages.

The daughter sucks the straw only to hear the fatal slurps of dryness associated with empty cups.

I can't eat Domino' anymore. Not only because it is Domino's and why would I eat it in the first-place. But for the fact that it is Domino's, and shitty people fell for their shitty advertising and can only scrounge up enough money for their shitty smallest size of pizza. World, should I thank you from saving me from ever eating Domino's? Or should I actually feel human suffering, and make it so the world is a better place, albeit with better quality pizza, or equally as shitty pizza but costing less? Life, right?