Tiny Vipers - Life on Earth

Hi Ho Turtle Doves, Caleb here. I know I don't usually 'break' from the assigned tone I made up and blatantly address you like this. BUT, something important has happened and I would just like to share some advice with you: Never Eat at a Thank Goodness Its Fridays in New York Stoned. Now- I can't speak for other Thank Goodness Its Friday establishments outside New York City, but all the ones here are tourist destinations. Therefore, vis a vi, they are riddled with the depressed run-off of employees who are toiled in the muck and mire by having to serve tourists who think they are out for a nice New York meal when they are at a fucking Thank Goodness Its Fridays (I'm not saying TGIF's because that is a nickname and nicknames are for friends and Thank Goodness Its Fridays is nooo friend of mine). But, man, having a 50 something middle eastern food runner just puts things in perspective. He came to this country- to work in a dank pit with shit nailed to the wall- to bring out food to me, this fucking stoned kid with a gift card who has blue juice all over my face and is dressed 2 steps above a homeless man? That's so sad. He most likely has a family, and this is what his son is seeing him as- the old guy who brings out food, who gets perentages of a tip? And the waitress- man, there was this foreign group (possibly Lithuanians) who kept hitting on the waitress and making her pose in funny pictures they took (peace signs, stick your tongues outs) and it was painfully clear to us at least that she got rejected from so many other jobs that this was the net that caught her. I'm sorry- we all have to get by- but it is good to know strip clubs have standards. And thats awful I say that, cuz I hve no fucking clue but that is what the situation is lending itself too. But, man, I was her peer. I am her peer. And when you have to hear from someone your own age that they want this shrimp wrapped in bacon, and then you have to brig it to them, and you see them eat it like a video in rewind of a bear vomiting... that job sucks. And I realize this as its happening, and man- it was sad. We were the only ones in the Thank Goodness Its Fridays at a point. Tuesday night, stoners eating at a restaurant after a family dressed in Miami Dolphins paraphernalia left a 10% tip.. good luck. Just never eat at a Thank Goodness Its Fridays stoned- its like eating remorse wrapped in melancholy with a high calorie count.

You were a mall for halloween: Young God

Wish for More Muscles: in your mouth