You got dry skin? Well I usually steam baseballs in a contained space, but since I'm better than you try making a tiny hurricane in your tub bath. How to make a hurricane? Sacrifice a giant sea anemone to a clam with a cleft lip remembering the Titans by quoting that movie in spanish backwards which signifies its role as a satanistic (devil dog) demon lord of tiny weather. What, you can't fake belief? Pull out your belly button cut off a twelth of a centimeter of it, swallow it hole with a glass of milk (milked from revenge) and wait for it to pass as a bowel movement. Light that b.m. on fire with a magnifying glass you stole from a detective with a compulsionary disorder. Say the prayer of 'Cagg Re De Verrtonk' (exclusively at Sears) and the fumes should clear 80% of all thought. Never visited a dentist before? Well, if you don't open your mouth, they'll go in through your cold sore. Don't have a cold sore? Fuck one of the following: fuck a muppet, fuck a snack, fuck aspirin, fuck a white person, graduate from high school. Congratulation, you muppet fucker, you snack fucker, you assfuckpirin, you, you high school graduate. PLASTICS, BEN, PLASTICS.
Individualism is ruining haircuts for the rest of us: Ripper AKA The Pillows
Egyptian Movie Studio: Better Jobs for the Educated Studios
1 comment:
i work at starbucks
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