personal growth as best one can express in the midst of getting stabbed in the world's tiniest elevator where you're on the 2nd floor and going to the 57th.
"O the decades, I have befleshed, and the vast number of idols who have sung the birthday song to me while wasting food in front of a crowd of Africans I had paid to come to America and watch us, faking hypothermia on black friday just so we could end up stealing thousands of dollars and toilet seats from a cracker barrel, and the time I convinced NBC to have The Office to start each letter of their dialogue to spell a message to my dad that I fucked his stepmom. But now, but now- as I die here on this- what floor is that- 4? Ay. Well move back, you're getting blood on you... its on your mouth... where was I? What do you mean you don't remember... does anyone else remember what I was saying... Jeeps, people quit getting my blood on you... you all going to the 57th floor... yeah they have free communion crackers and boogie boards...no, no- don't stop the elevator, I'm fine.... NO. DON'T.... I learned, just now, that it doesn't matter what kind of underwear your penis breaks through cuz my penis is so big, what matters is, excuse me- trying to make a point here, is helping people, and thats why we're not stopping, what floor now.... 11.... fuck.... my blood is starting to collect in this tiny elevator..its covering the logo on your chuck's... ok I know none of you are listening. I'll shut up, but, real quick- which one of you stabbed me?
People's Sexiest Dog Alive: Orphaned
Santa feature that should be exploited: his mexican heritage
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