Welcome to Weekend Update, I'm Syth Myen. A recent study has shown that up to 50% of adult women have used an orange to give themselves a third boob, not to be outdone, bananas make a good penis.... Ann Coulter recently had surgery on her jaw causing her mouth to be wired shut, now only if they could only wire shut her mouth..... After 16 years Guns N Roses finally released their 'Chinese Democract' album, here to comment is Xian Liut Fan, a Chinese Democrat, Xian... "Thank You, Syth. As I am not talking with any accent, because I am not in anyway a stereotype of a chinese person, for example, I pee in hamburgers, not coke, I'm afraid of dying, and I've never seen a dragon. Now so, Guns n Roses is a band and their ideas of our democracy don't provide a solid structure to a government unless vague lyrics about woman and contemplations over raucous behavior do in fact lead to prosperous democratic evolution. I am now wrapping up because I really don't feel like talking."...Xian Liut Fan, everybody, he's actually Kanye West..... OK whatever, this is Caleb now. This is more of a statement on how stupid I think weekend update is rather than just me trying to write 'well' and be 'funny' rather its a potshot at the instituton of weekend update by appyling even lamer activity with less sense to show how crappy weekend update is when it does make sense, did I really need to explain myself? Ok whatever.
Shrimp, tread mill, this song: Colors
I actually like: Kevin Nealon, Tina Fey, Norm McDonald
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