Nov 12, 2008

The Accident That Led Me to The World - The Island Gospel



Oh you know leprechauns  are fake. There is proof doing proof in the moof on the roof. Fact: leprechauns are depicted as small irish men, while irish people drink and fuck and hit women- leprechauns are small and can't drink much and can't sustain a drunk erection (high school riiiight) and can only reach to punch a woman in the calves- THATS THE STRONGEST PART ON A WOMEN. Fact: everyone loves a nude beach. There are no leprechaun women (or they're asexual or they're iranian), so a nude beach would be non-existent for them. HOW CAN EVERYONE LOVE NON-EXISTENT NUDE BEACHES. Fact: Leprechauns wear matching green and are friends with rainbows. How can you be friends with a rainbow while only wearing one color? That's like being friends with Charlize Theron and only recognizing her range, or hanging out with a hate group but only hating peanut butter, it's like when we say 'fight for peace', its like we're saying 'scream for quiet', 'shit for constipation', 'screech for james bond', 'rape for abstinence'.  Fact: leprechauns are fake cuz leprechauns sound like a fact name. Fact: they don't make beard coats that red. Fact: cigarettes kill people. Fact: leprechauns don't exist just like phasers, the center of the universe, a good Guy Ritchie movie, childhood dreams, and really really really large popsicles. Ya.


Your process for it if it were a song: Caves

Tip for crystal makers: meth is illegal, hope is eternal


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

right now i'm making fun of kayla seybert's sex life