Signs that you're dating someone that is your mom.
Wherever you go, people throw up at you.
She cuts the crust off of your sandwich, and the crust is your pubes and the sandwich is your tenders.
She picks out clothes you don't like but it doesn't matter cuz she's just going to use them to tie you to the bed and mop up your sploot.
She likes LaGuardia over JFK.
You get more sex on Mother's day than you remember as a kid.
You get deja vu when sucking on her tits.
When you say 'motherfucker' you feel the singe of hypocrisy crawling up your spine.
Your mom's friends don't talk to you or her anymore. Also anyone. Anyone doesn't talk to you.
You seem to have bad luck when actually it is God condemning you.
Your penis smells like your dad's penis.
Constant erections.
Jurassic Space Cadaver Digital Hardback Government (Formed Rear Seventh) Fight Song: We Are Beautiful We Are Doomed
Best line from last night's 30 Rock: "Camp of Approval? What does that even mean?"
1 comment:
One of the most insightful posts yet. What about signs that you're dating your father? erm, just asking.
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