Review: Clouds

We have a lot of little fun here at Dumb Reviews reviewing things in a manner at its best considered 'roamy' (back-up word choice: 'fraudulescent'), but nothing I ever reviewed here is as cut and dry on what side to take (in favor for or in condemnation of) as clouds. And the side to take is both.

Clouds are the impossible enigma, making the sun shine less directly and horribly quantifying idiots thoughts on heaven. They are white and fluffy, yet their taste falls between 'nothing' and 'cold air'. Remember when we were kid and on airplanes and we were about to go into a cloud and we thought- holy shit this is going to be like when a cartoon character dies and he makes a beard out of cloud remnants or some other hilarious mark up with cloud remnants and we thought that would happen to the plane but really we just couldn't look outside? Clouds do sure make babies look cuter and more like angels therefore more like dead therefore justifying abortion. It was my choice to make angels dead babies for the purpose of the joke.

Clouds also provide storks resting places, but the world has become more PC as to explain babies properly to kids (thanks internet) that fantasy stork stories have declined 80% since 2002. Clouds, when coming to life, also use their mouths to affect the weather. Either by blowing or by squeezing out rain or snow. Both of which are factual mixed blessings that I do not need to joke about. Clouds are also lackeys, hanging out with rainbows to look cool and checking out thick books in the library to prove they can carry them. For some reason, clouds have been appearing on pajama pants more and more. I do not understand that? Cause clouds look comfortable? Because nighttime clouds are in a fashionable blue? I mean both those answers are acceptable but I'd like to be informed on trends please, pajama pants makers.

Clouds have done exceedingly well at blocking the sun, who is the biggest glory hog and God's favorite creation. Nevermind the fact that facts say the sun is just another star and there are bigger ones in are ever expanding universe... christian God loves the sun and are only means of resisting his power is through the shadowy glow of our man made clouds. Smoke Clouds, Smog Clouds, Acid Rain Clouds, Mushroom clouds- all join together in saying, "Hey God- we got this. Please disprove yourself and bother another planet." And God is all like "Alien Jesus is a great idea." And we're all like "And God was all like about Space Christ on his Astro Cross". So If I am going to talk about Christianity in the form of Science Fiction, well I am not and just going to link to David Liebe Hart clips on youtube: that's how I end it.