Review: The Baron

The baron deserted his plane, or what was left of it. Just a pile of slide whistles and animal hooves with various plane parts labeled on them. "Why didn't I get a regular plane? Why did I just take a whole bunch of slide whistles and hot glue them to the animal hooves I kept in my garage?" the baron said to himself, his head still woozy from the crash. No, it couldn't of been his plane, his plane he worked so hard on for almost 2 afternoons. The baron loved his plane. He wanted to fly a plane ever since he was in an actual plane crash, where most of his mother was killed. He walked away from that plane crash, his clothes singed from the actual fire, and hitchhiked up the eastern sea board to what probably resembled his house and went to bed. He woke up the next morning and started building his plane. His plane couldn't have failed, he thought, he wrote all the right parts on the animal hooves. Wing, other wing, propeller, controls, plane bottom, cock pit, black box, back of plane. The slide whistles? They seemed like a gift from the heavens. They were in crate labeled 'slide whistles- USED' and the baron saw them and made the connection on how to use them with his plane: wind. "How can I not fail? I'll save my momma for sure this time!", The baron would declare to most objects he saw on the 40 minutes it took him to build up the courage to fly his sky chariot. He named the plane, Hustle and Flow after his other planes in-flight movie, and recited most of the plot to it before getting it confused with CB4 before getting that confused with Groundhog's Day because Chris Elliott is in both. Now was the time for take-off. He climbed aboard the Hustle and Flow, and pushed the lever/slide whistle. His mouth started making an engine sound. With his hand he started touching a hoof repeatedly- "Propellers on!" The baron then looked at the last possession his mother had the last time he saw her- a picture of himself. Written on the back was 'To Momma, there are plenty more of these pictures, so don't feel to obliged to hold onto them- Your Baron Son, The Baron." With tears in his eyes and his heart full The Baron took off in the Hustle and Flow, jumped in the air, and for half a millisecond- the plane was flying- he was really flying. 11, likely less, inches in the air HE WAS FLYING. Then something happened- gravity. The baron lost control and the Hustle and Flow hit the ground causing much panic and chaos within the barons circulatory, nervous, and digestive systems. The baron, now defeated, now walking away from his second plane crash in as many days said to himself, "There are more of those pictures of me, it doesn't matter that I lost that one."