Black Nasty - SHARK TANK

Lanauria was selfish (coincidentally also a shellfish) and wonthe lottery choosing to be paid in American Eagle giftcards and 10 dollar bills with dicks drawn on them. She shut down her facebook account. I noticed how much I didn't like her, then compared her caged vagina to a whale's nostril. She is now dating a LeBron James connection of 4 degrees (a elementary school classmates's hot air balloon provider's fake pastor's guy who wears same socks). (LA BRAAWN JAYYMZ). Lanauria or whatever I said her name was first major purchase (after paying a facebook representative (myself) 70 dollars to shurdown her account) was a hypothetocial car made out of actual deer. 20 deer equals an almost 2 passenger car. The whole exterior made from stretched out layers of deer skin and the fur lined the interior, exterior, minterior, and the tears for feariors. The engine is hearts, brains, saliva, a tgi fri (complete with a staff of 17), and a tank plane engine with a nuclear (or ceasar(like salad)) center. The antlers are used as bumper antlers and now that patent is currently out as a weapon designed for the aid of blind obese children with seeing eye dogs with eating disorders (dogs eat their own poo, dogs do dog doo). The tricky part is the windshield which is made from the deer's eye tissue, though originally the windshield was made of the Ecko shirts the deers seemed to wear. But the eyes were semi-clearer (when its sunny out but raining just enough and not too much). The wheels are why she bought this amalgam of describing: they are the hoofs melted-welded-re-enacted into wheels that actually make a high pitch and constant clop sound (fuck clip). I was going to make a Deerhoof joke, so you can replace 'clop sound' with 'ditties of no tone'. All in all, this car is smellier, soul crushing, constant staining, and crumbles in accidents, car starts, and stares. But the advantage of it is that it runs on your own feces. So its runs on free. Lanauria also won the title of "most nervous while mooning veterans" but she failed to capitalize on that.

Album of the year?: By Far

Nice Haircut: for a shit head