Thank you for choosing BloohHoef Cigarettes- the only cigarettes made from cigar ashes! With your purchase you are apart of something groundbreaking. Literally- with your money, we plan on building a specially designed hammer that is designed to break different types of ground (wet hills, beach front, some gravel parking lots). With that broken ground we hope to ruin the lawns of our competition. And while they are fixing that- BloohHoef- plans to videotape it and put it on YouTube with circus music in the background. Our promise is: we don't care how we make our cigarettes. As long as you're addicted- it doesn't matter that we piss on our cigarettes or actually put ashes from a cremated cancer (well former cancer) patients. It doesn't matter that people who have smoked BloohHoef experience the following syptoms: stretches of freak strength, cargo pant addiction, shrunken pinky toes, enlarged wrists, non-uterial pregnancy, turning into snow, and the desire to smoke other brands of cigarettes (also death, but why be a bummer?)... We at BloohHoef know- you want to smoke and don't mind paying however much you're willing- thats why all our prices are negotiable based on your desperation. So if you like the smooth taste of horse shoulder and the chalk that shows the yardage lines in football- meet me in most alley's after calling me and allowing me 4 to 5 hours to get there (we accept pie as payment)
Chili Jingle: Albatross Albatross Albatross
I hate Groundhog's Day: Only cuz I know what it is
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