I quit being noble. I write my own coupons. I photoshop Robin Williams features on elderly women and then frame them for sharing food at buffets. I go to Mt. Everest every year and lop off about 14 inches. I did script supervision for Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I have snuck into a tampon factory and changed the machine's setting to widen the width by 1.5 centimeters. I pose as a doctor during dentist's appointments and pass on health concerns to the dentist accordingly with what he says to me. I constantly try to convince people Bill Cosby has passed away. I have done viral marketing for Race to Witch Mountain. I convince parents to join Facebook. I eat during stranger's funerals. I extort infants..... I help design high school mascots? I started a national campaign to change the name of turtlenecks to "Roman Holidays"? I leave Dennis the Menace cartoons at murder scenes? Hello? I break toilet at Bally Total Fitness? Stop it!! These judgmental eyes, when alls I wanted to portray was the anguish and the lashes out of the side effects from my laser therapy to curb my addiction to scoring touchdowns. I wear sunglasses with a rope.
humming: Bear
Watchmen: Totally
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