Aug 10, 2010

Review: Leisure Hoses

Hoses are strictly gardening tools, or middlemen for kiddie pool filler. But the hose, in shape and make-up, has so much potential. Here are few activities I thought up off the top of my head that anyone, even Rain Men, can do with a hose that isn't under the tyranny of water.

A hose can be cut up into pieces, and then those pieces can be hidden in pillow cases or sewn into backpack straps.

A hose can be used as a chinese fingertrap but for the penises between 2 men. Getting them to touch is, literally, the hard part.

A hose can be pointed at while repeating its name of 'Hose'.

Study the hose, learn its intricate details. Take that knowledge and act like a hose, penetrating their deep hose subculture so that we may learn more about these mysterious creatures.



A hose can be filled with perfume, and with the correct nozzle attachments, you can make a group of strangers smell like a 14 year old's pussy. (Welcome any readers who are here because they googled "14 year old pussy +nozzle").

Howard Hughes was 2/5 hose.

See how fast a hose can melt, and then try and beat that record.

Replace a friend's windpipe with a hose segment and see how much it affects their voice. Don't forget to scrub up first!

Hoses usually put out fires, see if you can start one by just using a hose and some matches.

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