Click Picture to be Taken to IMDB page
Quick Refresher:
Sandwiched between "this is a good idea" of Twins and the "this is the best idea" of Kindergarten Cop, Total Recall is the 1990 movie that established that Arnold Schwarzenegger will make us money. The plot revolved around space, the future, mutants, aliens, and Arnold not knowing who he is. The plot didn't really matter though because there was so much unnecessary violence.
A Quick Glance Over:
The top of the page offers us 5 trailers. That means they used 5 different arguments to try and get you to watch this movie. We also see that Total Recall was "inspired" by a Philip K. Dick short story. There are 2 Oscar nomination (one of which was a win) to the movie's credit. Also the director has a foriegn name. All these factors have led me to believe that this was an actual good movie of its time. Looking at the state of special effects and of Arnold himself today--- WTF?
Let's Look at the Careers of:
We all know Arnold and Sharon Stone. But there is a longer list of people who never capitalized on being in a summer blockbuster set on Mars.
Rachel Ticotin, was Melina, the love interest. She went on to play many Spanish women roles in a whole bunch of crap. Just look at her character names on IMDB- Laura Martinez, Maria Chavez, Vangie Gonzalez, Teresa Cortez, Carmen's Mom, Nancy's Masseuse. This coming from one of the 12 most promising actor's of 1981 and the mother of David Caruso's child.
Michael Ironside plays a classic Sci Fi villain. In fact he always does. In over 190 acting credits, I can't seem to find him prevalent in anything. He does get some points for being in Jo Jo Dancer Your Life is Calling and the movie McBain starring Christopher Walken that was less popular than the Simpson's character of the same name.
Mel Johnson Jr played turncoat cabbie Benny. His scenes added much needed panache and flavor to the balloon screeching lilt of Arnold's voice. Pretty big role where he got to do some chase scenes. How did he squander it? By never doing anything. His last credit was 2004 in the awesomely titled In The Shadows of the Cobra. But I did learn that in 1991 they tried a Munsters reboot which he has a credit too.
Debbie Lee Carrington played the midget prostitute I couldn't help but look up. Let's just list: munchkin, ewok, additional duck, little bigfoot, garbage pail kid, countless aliens, Mickey's girlfriend on Seinfeld, an Emporer Penguin, creature, elf, and Frankenturkey.
Money Shot! The 3 breasted woman played by Lycia Naff. Did she ever outshine the stigma of having three breasts? No! You would've heard of her. She has a daytime Emmy nom for an ABC afterschool special, hosted an infomercial with Roger Daltry, and played herself on Denise Richard's reality TV show which exists.
Ah Johnny Cab, voiced by Robert Picardo. Picardo might be the best actor of this bunch here. You should recognize him as Coach Cutlip from the Wonder Years, but he also has other stuff you've heard of but don't watch to his credit. According to IMDB he is 5'10"
15 Minutes into the page:
-Why is this gallery in black and white? (We also see that the better posters do not feature Arnold.)
-Trivia tells us the body count is 77, this originally got an X rating, I wish this was a Cronenberg film, and that the original producers went bankrupt and Arnold basically hand-picked the new ones. If this doesn't tell you that the movie is ultimately shitty, nothing will.
-Parental Guides on IMDB are pretty lame looking. But it is fun to see that 'fuck' is said 28 times.
-If you want to make your suicide go slower. I suggest reading the goofs page. This is a combination of nerdiness, know-it-all-ism, inability to suspend disbelief, and questioning why someone would pay any close attention to anything. Example: "Errors in geography: The exterior shots of Mars depicts the Martian sky as having either a dark orange or deep crimson color to it. In reality, the Martian sky is not as deeply colored, and actually a light pink or light orange color at times."
-Quick facts: There were 3 original songs on the soundtrack that no one should own; the credits say blatanly, "Play the Total Recall game by Acclaim"; In the German Version the "Johnny Cab"-Robot is making a loud belching sound instead of saying "Hell of a day, isn't it ?" This is possibly an in-joke by the dubbing studio.; the porno is called Total Reball; And this movie might actually make a decent remake.
People are THE BEST:
In the messageboards, user mikekaraoke23 is perplexed that the movie says by the difference of 1989 and 1990, not knowing whether to make this an 80s movie or a 90s movie. Despite the fact that it was released in 1990, mikekaraoke23 simply wants 1989 to have the credit because that when Total Recall was filmed, he sites his RoboCop VHS and knowledge of the film 'Ghost' as examples. Another user rationally explains to mikekaraoke23 that post-production and marketing are all part of the process, and that the film's year is when it is seen by the audience. But mikekaraoke23 thought of something, and since he thought of it, he is right and uses super specific knowledge on the film 'Ghost' to establish as much so.
Also in messageboards, fans played a game where they created a thread where everyone says 'This post was deleted because..." and I randomly found this one.
I also found a thread remarking on Sharon Stone's Sweat, with 3 creepy horny replys. I clicked on one, Gridoon, and found his movie reviews to be charming. He seems to like the psuedo-porn sci-fi genre, mixed with some Abbott and Costello slap-stick, and for some reason works involving Agatha Christie. On page 21 of his reviews, I found his love of Shannon Tweed and the hatred of movies she was in: "you don't expect a woman who made a name for herself by starring in countless soft-core erotic thrillers to be a convincing fighter, but somehow Tweed is."
Final Thoughts:
Holy Shit. Looking at this page as much as I did felt like making a brick squirt brick juice. I feel like I just backwards learned the process in which to suck out one's brain with a vacuum, which means blowing it in through my ass. Total Recall is kind of a great movie if you forget about taste and want violence and haven't seen a movie since 1990. I covered it because it kind of is a guilty pleasure, and I wondered what happened to Benny. Now, after seeing how seriously this movie took itself, and how much people actually see it as a viable film? Fucking noonan to this. I am only going to watch this movie one more time because Arnold himself does the audio commentary. His voice is funny.
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