Oscar nominations are Thursday morning. It is Wednesday night. The thing about me is: I love Oscars. I love 'em. I'd fan their frou. Lock that baby in a baby dog cage. Shonter the olium to the turuvium of Buntchenswaffer. I ENJOY OSCAR BUZZ.
So here now here- is 3 groupings of 7 categories that will ultimately explain itself without me explaining so.
Best Picture
*who will win:
Slumdog Millionaire - too much good will and precursor awards (could get tripped up if Oscar tries to be cool, which they do to be dicks- see Brokeback Mountain)
*who I'm rooting for:
Curious Case of Benjamin Button - it made me cry, and 15 years ago it would've been a shoe in, it didn't make me cry
*who would win if the world were pure as I:
Step Brothers - there was such a heightened level of buffonary to it I've never felt before. It was a version of 'The Parent Trap" with swearing and straight out balls in forcing you to accept these characters and let them take you to absurd places and feelings. Plus I love sentences.
Best Director
*who will win:
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire- an artsy, mainstream film + a deserved director (Fincher could win cuz that movie was all about visual and storytelling)
*who I'm rooting for:
Darren Aronosky, The Wrestler- too put that much trust and get that much out of your actors and still maintain a indie charm plus showing such heart from such a brute subject- ku+dos
*who would win if the world were pure as I:
David Wain, Role Models- Wain Drain given a shot with studio money- nails it! Takes so-so plot and turns it on its ass gloriously.
Best Actor
*who will win:
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler- seriously, did you see this?
*who I'm rooting for:
Richard Jenkins, The Visitor- just a personal favorite actor nailing a leading man role. Doesn't overplay anything just plays human emotion so perfect.
*who would win if the world were pure as I:
Danny McBride, The Foot Fist Way- "Let me think about that for a second. Ok, I've thought about it and I think my answer to that question would have to be "fuck you". I don't care if you wake up in a ditch with grown men shitting on you and jumping on top of your head. Maybe your nose will turn into a big ole dick and you can stroke that all the time. I hope your hair turns into dog shit one day. You wake up and you run your comb through it and all that it is, is little trundles of dog shit. The worst shit that you could imagine. AIDS... it's cool. Everything comes around sweetheart."
Best Actress
*who will win/who I'm rooting for/who would win if the world were pure as I:
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road - all the conventions of the house wife stuck in house role but with such intensity and overdue actressy
Best Supporting Actors
*who will win: I don't wanna say Heath Ledger, y'know cuz he's dead, but he has all the precursor awards but I just don't feel Oscar giving the Joker the award, so by default- Josh Brolin in Milk, but its ganna be Heath
*who I'm rooting for: Robert Downey Jr, Tropic Thunder - the fact that he's getting Oscar buzz and he's very likely to get a nomination for a comedy such as this, also the fact that he's brilliant and this character/performance will be around for years/and I'm finishing sentences like such as
*who would win if the world were pure as I: Jack Black was crazy underrated in Be Kind Rewind, and Michael Shannon should totally be nominated for being that crazy in Revolutionary Road, and I so wanna say the crazy Rob Corddry in Harold and Kumar, but the craziest of the crazy Tom Noonon as Sammy in Synecdoche, NY (which was my second choice in every character save for this one).... he brings too much weird energy and a somewhat reasonable voice in such unreasonable ways
Best Supporting Actress
*who will win:
between Winslet the Reader and Penelope Cruz the Vicky Cristina Barcelona--- not a strong year for Supporting Actress
*who I'm rooting for: Viola Davis, Doubt - I like it when people win for only 1 scene and boy did sister have a scene
*who would win if the world were pure as I: Catinca Untaru, The Fall - she basically isn't acting but its so works cuz for her too play this role this real and to be this cute making this movie as real as it did--- poof!
Best Original Song
*who will win: Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler" - the Acadmy tries to look cool in this category (Once, Eminem, 3 6 Mafia, nominating South Park) and they think Bruce will make them look cool, cuz it will
*who I'm rooting for/who would win if the world were pure as I: (these 2 groupings would be more similar you'd think, but I'm a realist, but I feel so passionate about this getting recognized for its greatness): 'Love Take Me Down (to the Street)' from Role Models--- ok its not eligable (but Broken and Bent from this movie is)--- but dammit this song was crazy spot on for being a fake Wings song... and it was a hilarious joke in the movie. Take that Regina Spektor song from Chronicles of Narnia.
Ok, I'm done being like that. I just wanted to call it before Oscar does.
later dick ducks
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