Review: Adult Swimming

I am an adult now. I know this because I don't know what to do when I swim. Not saying all adults don't know what to do when they swim. Some have kids, or actually swim. When I go in a pool, usually as social means, I do it to talk to someone who is also in the pool. The conversations are usually about not splashing and not getting hair wet. If I'm lucky it's about how not to look at each other's exposed areas. I don't really swim in a pool. Because pools are usually at around 20 feet long and, yeah, I know I can do that. Swim, then come back to where I stood. Then there is that point in swimming, where it is just more comfortable to stay in the water because it is colder out as the day progressed and I left my towel inside. So this is not really about swimming, it's about talking when wet. Maybe doing it stoned would be more fun, but that is also dangerous (so I shouldn't have said maybe). "Let's go to that side of the pool now," "Let's hold our breath," "Can you guess what I am saying underwater"... as an adult I am more in tune with simply farting in water. That's fun to me. Sure it's fun to throw kids into a pool, but that also sets up the building blocks for a relationship with a child. No, swimming really loses its luster when you have actual things to do. In fact, fuck swimming. Fuck swimsuits too. They serve one purpose and most people just use them to look good. Now, for anyone there who actually swims, and knows names of strokes and what not, you have beaten the system. You took a fun childhood activity such as swimming and turned it into something palpable in your everyday life. Anyway, thank God for water slides... if only to hear women say how their vazanza's get water logged. Anything else I forgot to cover? Oh, watch adult swim nightly on the cartoon network.