Half Circus

I never enjoyed the Half Circus. HATE the half circus, if I am being honest. Never has a place built up so little anticipation with the payoff being exuberant disappointment. It's like going out with model (not a super model), and they rape you. And they have bad breath. And uneven fingernails. And they spoil the ending of 'Hancock' to you, and you already forgot that movie existed. You're left confused.

At the half circus, they have clowns. But they don't wear make-up. They're just people walking around in clown outfits. Some of them smile, most of them don't smoke, and one of them does balloon animals. The balloon animals are, however, left incomplete. So what would be half a pony on their word only, is really a knotted balloon. It could come across as post-modern balloon animal art, but in reality I'd say it looks more like some kid's tongue who is trying to do that thing were kids make loops in their tongue but he recently had tongue surgery.

They have regular animals though. An elephant with no trunk. This is my favorite thing at the half circus. The elephant is very temperamental and suffers from phantom limb syndrome. Because of this they only show him for 20 seconds. At 700 feet away. The other animals include a dog that eats hot dog buns, a tape of real life lion's roaring, and boxing gloves for a kangaroo.

The acrobats at the Half Circus are famous for being the fattest acrobats in the world. They're not really that fat though. And they don't really do acrobatics in lieu of falling off of  5 foot ladders onto laundry. The half circus shoots a ma out of a can and the bearded lady shaves.

The Half Circus lasts a half hour and you're done after 10 minutes. They serve cotton and candy separately, the candy being only the wrappers of the candy and the cotton being the aforementioned laundry. However, I do feel obliged to help out the Half Circus, as their freak show are former medical deformities who can't function looking normal in the real world. They are addicted to the wrong kind of attention and therefore I have fathered children with 3 of them. The kids were born normally and also hate the Half Circus.