Review: Abstract Realism

The horse bridled its saddle, and left out a snort so loudly that it mussed the Cyclops' hair over its eye. "I know you're used to wearing the saddle, rather than put it on- but this is ridiculous," quipped the Cyclops pausing an exact 6 seconds for laughter, a laughter too far off to be heard.

Taking off one of his eyelashes, lighting it with his heat vision, and then smoking it- the horse thought to himself, "I know I can talk, I just need to have confidence, I know I can do it." The smoke off the horse's eyelash cigarette caused a wax to build-up around the sides of the Cyclops' eye.

The Cyclops raised his calloused fingers and with his index and thumb pinched off the wax, whipping it to the ground. The wax started moving and magically shot up- "Freedom! Freedom! My hunchbacked is now carrying the weight of freedom!" The wax then ran out of the crashed spaceship that was in the shape of a neckerchief that was acting as the cave for the 2 mismatched mothers-to-be, the cyclops and the horse.

"Is that what birth looks like?" was what the horse tried to say, but what came out was, "I was raped by the Eiffel Tower," and a biting of the Cyclops.

Bleeding to his death, with a faint smile mapped across his lower lip and a 9 inch by 9 inch tear in his eye, the Cyclops was stunted by the horse's first words. Throughout their time together, the Cyclops' affinity for the horse grew drabbier and draubier, but this sign of life- the Cyclops knew the horse was going to be ok. "When you say 'by'," the Cyclops sputtered, "do you mean 'near' or do you mean the Eiffel Tower came to life and fucked you?"

The tear dropped to the ground simultaneously as the 17 month pregnant horse's water broke. Washed away were the centipede scrotums that were the currency of this parallel universe, the Easy Bake Oven Instructions the Cyclops claimed to have tattooed on his ankles now became a smear across his glorious limb. The horse was distracted by the semi-tide of their human fluids and felt no pain. From the ground, the Cyclops convulsing in horse bite pain, had a one-of-a-kind view of the horse's birthing canal. She saw a mini-Eiffel tower, its tip puncturing horse vagina, its intricate sides entwined by horse hair.

The horse put out the eyelash cigarette. There would be no fall semester this fall semester. There would be no innocence to speak of.