10. Having a one followed by a zero, gives the illusion of Laurel and Hardy- who everyone still enjoys
9. Look at your fingers, stupid
8. It worked for Moses, er, God, er Julia Styles hating you
7. It's easy to remember 5 things, sure, 7- you're pretty smart, but 10? Well, now we know we can fuck with you
6. the T sound followed by a crisp N prevents a myriad of saliva from forming
5. the first two digit number is the best two digit number all you other two digit numbers are doped up on crack so step off other two digit numbers or I'll shove this crane up your ass
4. I know several viking warlords named 'Ten' who I owe several favors to
3. Top Ten has a T-vowel-letter pattern
2. Herman Melville once wrote, "The eye of the seas, sit stark underneath, an ever diabolical flow- for nine men to have rued, while other men stood, another would have got her to show." He died searching for the best number for a list, getting all the way up to 8 before collapsing. His journey wasn't in vain because his brother's son died testing out the merits of a list of 9- thus inspiring some random women who slightly resembled Melville's left facial profile in certain lights to make it all the way to ten in a perfect harmony of listomania (inspiring Liztomania). Unfortunately, she wasn't taken seriously until years after her death because she was a woman.
1. ten reasons diludes the pool so much that the actual number one reason is arguably the best reason, thereby making it super easy to make a list with no merit to it whatsoever
