TV Moustache Week: Ned Flanders

As we draw to an end of TV mustache week, we must mention possibly the greatest mustached man on TV for the last 20 years- Ned Flanders. We recapped some pretty cartoony characters, so it feeds the irony beast that perhaps the most serious of these recaps is about a cartoon character. Or not, you really shouldn't read that much into these posts.

We know who Ned is: strong christian morals, overtly friendly, a push-over, a widower, a surprising physique, a lefty, raised by beatniks, constantly upbeat, 60 years-old, a genuinely nice guy whose self is governed by his beliefs and is disciplined enough to follow through on them, and all his life he wanted purple drapes.

We know him- so let's talk about his mustache, and really the path he carved out for other mustaches to follow.

Ned is, simply put, a nerd. It is within that nerdy annoyance we have in him, that we see a part of ourselves in. Never betraying that bond with the audience, and taking it to ridiculous heights and emotional places--- why that's just strong TV. Ned is a character full of quirks. His mustache just happens to be a visible quirk (and he refers to it, such as: his "Nose Neighbour," "Mr. Tickles," "The Ole Soup Strainer," "The Cookie Duster," "The Pushbroom," and "Dr. Fuzzenstein.") It's not outlandish that Ned has a mustache. It's just fact that he does.

The season 16 episode, "Home Away From Homer", Ned moves Humbleton, PA, where everything is more dopey sweet than he is. In Humbleton, Ned is asked to shave his mustache, which he refuses. Truly a great moment for mustaches on television. For all his christian morals, pent up anger at his parents, and responsibilities in raising 2 sons- Ned never gives anything less than himself. Ned Flanders, one of the dorkiest people ever shown on TV, showed television, nay the world, on how to not look so dorky while wearing a mustache.

Great mustache TV characters are not the star of their show. They are the perspective, after all who wouldn't want to see the world through the eyes of a man with a strip of hormonal hair on their face. Mustaches themselves are a kooky attribute, and the men who carry them don't make themselves more kooky by having a mustache. They make the mustache more serious by being themselves.

Oh, and if you ever get gum in your mustache- just freeze it and hit it with a hammer.

Review: The Simpson's Basement

Perhaps, I've never talked about the Simpsons too much out of respect and reverence. But who does that? They are so rich and deep in character that most people don't like them anymore. The Simpsons is a gold standard, and the viewing audience has seen gold for 20 years. It's just a little airborn- it's still good. That being established- I'd like to talk about a seldom used facet of Simpsonia- The Simpson's Basement. In the real life Simpson's house, they did not bother to build a basement. Why not? The basement has served many a function. A place where Homer can brew beer without the watchful eye of Rex Banner, store their giant tiki head Xtapolapocetl (a gift from Mr. Burns), hold old TV guides, the secret lair for Pie Man, Marge's sanctuary when she had agrophobia (pictured abovely), a place where Bart invites homeless men to sleep (in spite of the radon gas leak, a place to hide a sauna, and basically where Marge does laundry (and where Bart used to race the laundry machines). Homer's tool are down there, but he is more keen on working in the garage. Homer does use the basement to bat around a lightbulb that hangs there to keep him sane after giving away multi million dollar greyhounds. A hanging lightbulb and laundry. Talk about lower upper middle class. They can't afford a nice basement, but they don't really use it anyway (they have had a ping pong table at times, also some nuclear waste and paint cans (not as much as Ol' Painty Can Ned though). It's just a basement. A seldom used basement. It speaks more to the fact that this family watches TV rather than re-do a basement that is prone to flooding, is poorly ventilated, and is a D'oh to clean. Sometimes the door to the basement is a closet door, and sometimes it's a basement door. Either way, homer falls down the steps when there is no light bulb in it because Bart used it to hatch eggs of a bird he killed at Nelson's house using a gun with crooked sight.

See- The Simpsons are about the reference and the trail to go off of. Why? Because they are hilarious. There was deeper meaning in the more satirical days of seasons 4 thorugh 8, but now its just The Simpsons continued legacy of brilliance. And I love the Simpsons. I just talked about their basement.