A preface for my anger: I get it. It's about money. The whole thing went to hell earlier in the year when they announced a Bugs Bunny CGI movie, which is the equivalent (to me) of a Jesus CGI movie. Nothing is sacred anymore. I get that. NOW LET ME BE PISSED HERE.
You are Robert Zemeckis, and you do not notice that your head is actually a penis. Maybe because it's a shriveled penis with scabs all over it, I don't know. You made some wonderful movies, then decided to stick your hands in your ass and try to reach your eyeballs and made 3 shitty CGI movies in: Polar Express, Beowulf, and A Christmas Carol. Ruin the legacy of 3 great things there because you had the technology to.
But to ruin your own genius of Roger Rabbit by making it completely CGI? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!?! Completely CGI? I am throwing up breakfasts from 1992 right now.
1) Roger Rabbit was great because it was an homage to the 1940s- 1950s animation style. Roger was written as a 2-D character.. a TOON! Having him CGI compromises his core being. You are dipping him in The Dip. Super shame.
2) The whole setting was a throwback to that era of old Hollywood mystery movies. Why was Roger Rabbit so revolutionary? Because it was meeting of these 2 worlds. Murder mystery Hollywood and Cartoons--- You're just ganna paint over that with CGI instead of the loving craftsmanship of ACTUALLY DOING IT! Again, you're compromising what made you great, and you're killing a beloved movie's legacy.
3) You got Bob Hoskins on board. I love that. Truth to world- him as Eddie Valient is one of the finest acting performances in history. That movie needed to be grounded in reality, which was deftly provided by Bob Hoskins--- his affiliation with the new one garners some genuine excitement. And then we remember we are just ganna paint over him into CGI. It ruined a mad-cap Jim Carrey in A Christmas Carol, and the prestigious actors of Beowulf couldn't shine through the thick shell of CGI. Even Hoskins is skeptical, "I don’t know how it’s going to work out... the thing is, it looks like a cartoon, so how do you put a cartoon in the middle of a cartoon? I can’t figure out how they are going to do it.” I trust Hoskins more than I trust Zemeckis here.
4) Sequels in general, man. (Especially when you do it more than 20 years later and especially when you weigh it down with the new technology available to you.) Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a much smarter movie than the perception of it. Simply replace cartoons in that movie with black people, and you have a film about racism and prejudice. (I don't know how you'd pull of the Judge Doom twist though). Do you have a smart enough plot ready to live up to the original AND break free of the shackles that restrained your other boring CGI films? As a children's movie, Roger Rabbit ably subverts. As a grown-up's movie, it is wildly imaginative and entertaining. There is a timelessness to it with wonderful characters and the wonderful, somewhat oxymoronic conundrum of seeing Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse together. Classic. Why would you want to step on those toes? Is money really more important than dignity? Do you know this is how people define the term 'Sell-out'?
Of course, I want to see it. Look at this strong emotional reaction I am having. I absolutely love Roger Rabbit, that's precisely why I am still hoping Robert Zemeckis shits out his brain aneurysm and comes to his senses before making this movie. Hell, if he comes out and says this movie is 2 hours of Roger Rabbit fucking Jessica Rabbit in different locations and positions, I will be the first to call him a genius. If it is slight commentary on how modern animation is done more crassly without care, and the movie becomes this huge meta gag on itself complete with Ren and Stimpy cameo- then wow, you're the best. But this is screaming marketing/franchise/Roger Rabbit comic books. So I can calm myself down all I want, but really I need to allow myself to be pissed.
1 comment:
It's not my fault, I was just computer animated that way.
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