The Hidden Cameras - In the NA

And its an empty feeling. This is a small vacuum inside an ever present tornado, but still- you attached. And its gone from you. The writing was on the wall for 5 years, deservedly so, but its actually happened. Its more the feeling after throwing up. Post purge. You want the best for them. And look- history show, this just isn't the place to be. Now the we burned the fields, and replanting the seeds. This could go quicker than 17 years, but we're already 17 years into the drought. This shouldn't make sense. But kids, you have so much for me to live up to, which isn't a lot.

----- signed,

BuccosFan8510

Shoulders, Ears: In the NA

this wasn't an entry: this was mental anguish

Six Organs of Admittance - Luminous Night

"You know what this place needs? An awning. A big awning. Like a box awning to let people know that, hey, we don't need the sky- we're a place. An awning to end all awnings. An awning that extends to the sidewalk, that can shade people who lock their bikes to that fence around that tree. An awning that people who are stupid and don't look at the weather report and don't bring umbrellas can wait til it passes under. An awning that makes people think there is sometimes a line here, that makes them think, this place has awning money. An awning that shields from the hypocrisy and from the dirt and the grime and the amber polish that plagues are commerce depleted terretria in hopes of new light, and a glory foretold by the ones that brought us here. This is are time, this is what an awning can do for us."

"But we're on the 4th floor."

No don't, save it for later: River of Heaven

Ass Candy: ButtMunch

Yo La Tengo - Popular Songs

Lose weight now! Buy bigger pants. Take pictures of you and your friends jumping up with arms out in front of a mountain. Buy the same type of juice everyday, making sure to hold it prevalent for those passing by to see. Always smile in your work out clothes. Walk on sidewalks having a conversation. Have a white backdrop to talk to central figures at. Find pictures of yourself with longer hair and not smiling, and put them next to pictures of yourself smiling with a cleaner haircut. Read a magazine with a non famous person on the cover. Make sure your kitchen has windows. Have multicolored dishes. Know what seeds taste like. Sleep around. Look good. Be good at your job. Be good at everything you do.

Its relative: By Twos

Cool Whip: cuz Jesus was too hot

Why? - Eskimo Snow

Its day 2 of the Calderton Colby Mustard. This year's activity actually is is very very beneficial to the townsfold and to the enviroments and the town's folk. Also a wolf and for the Showtime family of networks. This year they are disassembling the town Windmill and coating it in a lacquer so that when teenagers climb to the top of it and pee, the windmill won't smell. Its Calderton tradition for young males, after their first kill, to climb the windmill in glory and then defecate it in awe. Nowdays, teens just piss out when they need a place to piss after sucking each other's dicks. Note: girls take shits on the steps of the old town hall which is now a optometrist, which they have a handicap ramp anyway so no one cares. I mean its girls pooping, its a tourist trap.

down pep: Even the Good Wood Gone

General Off Switch: a punch to the heart

you know what song is stuck in my head?

Quiet Please

POST TOAST!

You're toast. 

Signed,

A Stranger

Blog Entry

Celebrities that I think are dead and are hereby "reporting" them as such

Raggedy Ann

Chaucer

Hugh Hefner (that one is a choice)

Frankie Muniz

Half of Oprah

Ralph Lauren

Bill Frist

American Idols Season 3

Whoever played Rhoda (I should know this... Valerie Harper!)

Ossie Davis

Richard Schiff

Schiffie Davis

Osshard Richie

Jonny Lee Miller TV's Eli Stone

Shane West

James Franco after Freaks and Geeks before Spiderman because that was basically Shane West

Anyone named Hope

Any celebrated lake

any treatment with a 1-800 number

Anyone from Guns N Roses who wasn't referenced in a Weezer song

Good Taste

The 4th Wall

Asians who don't speak english well

Asians who don't pretend to speak english well

Safety First

Safety Second

90s band Dope (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmJIXTAxUsE)

The Cat in the Hat

Any Frosting Spokeperson

Lyle Overbay (thats for you, Lyle Overbay)

I'm reviewing a blog entry: Get it?

I Could keep going: But its best to stop when I have an agenda

Cold Cave - Love Comes Close

fade to black. cuts to: a fat farmer and a skinny farmer in a lab.. wide angle to show lighting. ceiling fans. sweeping shot to show entire room. zoom in on the space between them. cut to close up on fat farmers chest, pan down to crotch, camera moves quickly to skinny farmer's crotch, back and forth these, back and forth. quick zoom out- revealing the farmers in makeup. opera song begins to play. cut to: opening of  a drawer- it is full of dead bees and 4 neckties in different shades of gray. cut to: another opening of a drawer, more suspensful music starts to play, in the drawer are two mini people practicing karate in old denver broncos sweatshirts and overtly baggy pants. cut to: human eye. dissolve into the making of a fisherman's hat (gilligan's hat). quick cut montage (1.2, no 0.9 second cuts) of hats morphing into other hats finally into the straw hat the skinny farmer is wearing. Piano Version of Stand by REM plays as the 2 farmers take pills (close up on eyes, pull back showing 2 farmers in the lab, close up on the hands, pull back again, close up on mouths taking pills). Pull back camera so the 2 farmers heads are in the bottom frame- play image on space above them: mexican 20 something putting gel on his hair to spike it up, close up on the spiking, concentrate on the spiking- cut to him walking in office with high powered business suit on being handed reports to him as he walks, cut to him laughing at a meeting, cut to him sitting in a busy area eating a salad from a clear plastic container, he checks his watch, takes a bite then leaves, cut to him sneezing at a power point presentation, cut to him on the ride home, pull back so he is at the bottom of his screen (2 farmers still being at the bottom) with image over him of the fat farmer ass fucking the skinng farmer- biting the skinny one's shoulder, skinny one with palm of his thumb pressing in his own mouth. BLUNT METAL DOOR CLOSING NOISE. Black screen reads: you can make your own viagra. paid for by men. SCENE.

Buoyancy: Heaven was Full

This The State DVD: thank some Lord

Shark Slayer - Don't Go Into the Water

I fell in love with this girl... it was at a rock show:

her: "what?"

me: "I don't know"

Fits the New Black: Fleshlighter

Modern Woman Olympics: Wheeling Your Luggage

Skygreen Leopards - Gorgeous Johnny

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 6- Jill Anne thru the tears. signs to her husband "Tyson, I threw up as soon as it touched me". At that Tyson came. He watched it slide down Jill Anne's leg. Jill Anne was still crying, and when she noticed the semen on her ankle, she stood up to yell, but a queef went out. Jill Anne became disgusted with her body. She looked at Tyson's hairy belly, his penis looking like her big toe when it got stuck by the bee- swollen and red with sweat. Why is she human, why is she supposed to have sex? She was crushed by his weight and violated by his member... is this how sex is supposed to be? Jill Anne started to cry again, but heard another fart sound. Did she queef again? No- it was Tyson, and he wasn't aware how loud it was. They were both naked and afraid in a room that smelled like farts. Jill Anne took this all in. This is love. She convinced herself. It was less than 40 seconds, she could handle that she said. She threw up one more time. Tyson lay asleep. She queefed in his face. Jill Anne noticed a little blood squirt out. She thought it was better this way.

I'm done now: Inland Towns

I swear I'll: Grow it out

The Peekers - Life in the Air

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 5- Tyson in a daze, sees Jill Anne's mouth move. Oh, the things he dreams up that she isn't really saying. Whatever she said, fell on deaf ears. I should've rephrased that. But eyes closed, heart racing, penis throbbing, Tyson thrusts forward. He feels a warmth come over him. He feels a vibration on his ears. Eyes still closed, he raises up, and falls back down in. The ear vibrations become faster. He now feels Jill Anne's passion. Her arms caressing rapidly all over his body. Tyson finds himself in a pleasure coma. He thrusts he thrusts he thrusts. His penis bigger, veinier than it has ever been. He feels the sweat drip off Jill Anne's face onto his chin. Tyson was at the peak enjoyment of his life. He wanted to sign to Jill Anne- he wanted to know they were sharing the best experience of their lives. The vibration still in his ears, Jill Anne's hands all over him... Tyson opens his eyes. Jill Anne is wailing, and now he see's that she is yelling STOP and she is slapping his body, not caressing him. He sees tears in her eyes, he sees her face red, he sees how hard it is for her to breath. He sees the damage done. A shotty vagina with small welts around it, a crying women in pain, and the love he first experienced 30 seconds ago shattered.

Leather fashions in the 00s: Your Morning Toast

Soft Hands: Concentrate

Blues Control - Local Flavor

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 4- Tyson, now naked, hoped his nakedness would give Jill Anne the idea of what to do next. Jill Anne wanted to leave her shirt on, but after several minutes of awkward looking, gave in and was stripped down to her bra. Tyson made several attempts to draw attention to his erect penis, but his deafness just made him seem scarily horny. Jill Anne grew uncomfortable but, let the man start kissing her face. Jill Anne was scrunched and not kissing much back up until the point where Tyson managed to hit Jill Anne's mouth with a kiss. She liked it. She let her her death grip on the blanket slack some. She kissed back. Tyson took it as a challenge. Jill Anne tightened her grip. Tyson took it as more of a challenge, and pulled up the blanket, revealing a cross legged scrunched up, crooked pubed, untanned, never before seen- shy little vagina. In the following exuberance, men will become men and women will become desperate.

Shelving Unit: On Through the Night

Cable TV: is really trying

Foreign Capitols - Elegance in Negligence

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 3- How does Tyson bring it up? How does he let Jill Anne know that for the first time in his life he is expecting, nay, ready- to have sex? Tyson nervously grabs Jill Anne's hand. Jill Anne shutters and fills goosebumps, she starts rubbing her knees together, she can feel a flop sweat coming on. Is this how she is supposed to feel? Is this uncomfortableness apart of the experience? Have his feet always had those callouses? Jill Anne realized she was stalling when she looked over and saw Tyson's erect penis. She gave that to him. She was the cause of this happiness. Jill Anne wasn't thinking of herself now. She coyly snuggles up to him. Tyson- now with an overt sense of confidence- points his right finger out, bends his left pointer to his left thumb and puts the right finger between the two, he moves his head to Jill Anne and says in what he considers a whisper, "Leh-TTs faokk."

I am really stretching this out: Bitter Half

Moby?: He can get stoned by Obie

Jackie-O-Motherfucker - Ballads of the Revolution

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 2- Jill Anne came out of the bathroom of the Howard Johnson in a high school band trip t-shirt and a pair of adidas shorts. Plain with the logo on the one leg. Tyson was already waiting in bed, under the sheet, after he decided putting both the sheet and blanket over him would give her the wrong impression. Just the sheet. Just the sheet means business. Upon her emergence from the bathroom, which was adjacent to the tv, Tyson turned off Deadliest Catch to force home the idea in Jill Anne's head. Jill Anne was nervous, she knew that she would go over there, he would notice she had just brushed her teeth. Tyson didn't know if he was nervous. He just knew he was in the same bed with someone whose boobs he wanted to see. He thought of his sign language teacher assisstant, and how her sweaters would cling to her breasts and when she taught him how to conjugate verbs how they bounced. Tyson was ready, and regardless of how Jill Anne was feeling, he was going to put his penis in a girl tonight. Jill Anne looks at Tyson... a rush of dryness comes over her. She feels her vagina lips suck up. She sits on the edge of the bed. She turns to Tyson, and says, "What were we just watching?"

Smattering of Persistence: Dark Falcon

Safari Way: Leave Love LeeLaa- in my hands

Florence and The Machine - Lungs

The what I believe to be true story of the 2 virgins on their wedding night: the conservative bride who doesn't believe she is settling and the overweight, over zealous deaf groom experiencing the opposite sex for the first time PART 1-  Though nervous Jill Anne seemed to care of his feelings since being raised Christian- she thought the man's needs were far superior to hers and believed this was her pre determined destiny. She was also curious to know what a penis was, seeing that the closest she has ever come to a naked man was her imagination of Jesus on the cross. But deep down inside her, she was so scared, which made her pussy nerves even more sensitive. What she was afraid of was not the crippling guilt of sex for the first time nor the crippling pain of sex for the first time- but the fact that she had no idea what she was doing. Tyson on the other hand had masturbated twice a week since age 12 deluding himself to think he was a sex machine. He also once watched a porno with headphones on so he can her the vibrations of the screaming. Though he was raised conservative Christian- this only meant that he was super super horny.

The Technical Merits of the word 'sewing machine': My Boy Builds Coffins

I always forget: how ugly Martha Stewart is

Grass Widow - Grass Widow

Lets get high washed down with iodine from a barrel wash it down with a phone call from daryl almost three x's call it 2 and some change almost T at a P for our QRS our incidence, our crossword hints like "shannon who should've been" 8 letters: Sossamon, call her agent, call her fat, call Ebenezer's cat Matt cuz its a common name designed to be unimaginitve, though from the bible, like nothing ever has done that before, Not because its latent, Not because we can't afford the port, and Not because we owe lumber from our slips and slices squeeled wise on the widest wagon racer with the widest wagon with the wagginest waste management techniques from our break up upto the breakdown of northern upholstery cuz in the south we call it Southern Remedy and it refers to a vengeance of different sharp colors and shoulder pains from resting our muskets there and rusting our musket's fear, for when the fear goes away all that we have left is 'heck no we won't go' and 'listen large and carry a pig dick' cuz when the going gets wool the eyes get itchy which there are no qualms to, no queefs to airy to dust a pussy puff over the gap teeth from your inbred lesbo daughter to the lesbo military ticks living in bread for which when you find one in your stool you count as good luck, as good as luck as you can get from your history of adopting rain men to sell your lice remedies as hard drugs only because you mix it with cocaine you found after you killed all those indians which really isn't what we are supposed to call them but we can since its called the spoils gone the winner and there were scenes in peter pan that allows me to interpret skin color on my own, and there is no need for this APR financing we plan on hollowing out our collarbones and if not ours when and when not ours Farr's... Jaime Farr the best round of super password you have ever seen from someone who need not to be there, the sun comes up and I still don't any more words other than HEY and JEALOUSY, its your move to recognize the our collective absorbency by peeing in my mouth so use a funnel cuz I don't believe in goggles or anything that tight around that wet of my upper half of my body and when you fully commit to the face you are making in  the ensuring picture let me know so I can show where that tambo-urine man carved his name into my cane. Its a loophole, hunk, get it?

I own a plane of such a smaller size: To Where

Booger Presley on the Mean Guitar: And a rap by little old me Lamar

Johann Johannsson - And In the Endless Pause There Came the Sound of Bees

I don't think they would play basketball in heaven. I think they might have for like a minute (a minute in heaven is like 1000 years on earth cuz ooo God knows what its worth). But basketball would make heaven explode. You wouldn't get tired and there would be no missed shots. There would be no gay overtones and showboating would be discouraged. You wouldn't get paid to do it and the heaven paparazzi doesn't care. God's basketball is also a baby brontosaurus mandible and the court is made of crosses. There is no real skill in heaven basketball, just an exercise in keeping up appearances and remembering old tattoos. "I used to have an egyptian onc tattoo, but heaven ya know?" Also fishing in heaven mainly consists of not remembering your heritage and re-learning how to talk. While jogging in heaven is knowing what jogging is. They do have Olympics in Heaven and that is mainly just not being attracted to anyone and fearing God. Thats what middle america is training for and they are doing a good job if you don't count the fact that they masturbate to photos of livestock=christian rock=two dudes sharing comfortably=grace=nike brand=The Hours=the connotations of islands=flugal sax smeth code #3=the correlation of dreaming and shedding= what children refer to the bad guy at the end of each level (BOSS)=I sure didn't.

You are a quarter cherokee, get off my land: The Flat

We Though of a Bandname: Dark Bichon

Hello Seahorse - Bestia

A man hugs with his forearms up against the person he is hugging. If the person the man is hugging is a bigger man- then he proceeds in a manner where the hug back received has the forearms touching above his. This is only when if the man initiates the hug. If the person is a man of smaller size then the proceeding hug should be grasped until either a faint squeak is heard from party hugged, or the hugging party rubs the fingers against the back such as one would stroke a guitar made of baby zombie (gentle but with a violent intent). If the hugee is the same size, then the arms should swooped downward intersecting at the elbows with the hug intiator on the outside unless they are related then there should be an equal elbow from each party on the outside. If there is a woman involved then all previous rules should met with pre arranged placement of the breasts. A suggestion would be for two women to alternate the breasts. When hugging a teenager it is suggested to picture hugging grain or seeds as to defer arousal. When hugging lettuce picture cabbage. When hugging in all caps use a sheath of lamb skin. When hugging who- how? When hugging Lauraleen Adams- call 1-800-weepy-cleavage. NOW GO!

Your mother is going back to Florida: Miercoles

What Crickets Do: Nothing to Scarves