Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts

Sep 15, 2010

This Conversation: About Elijah Wood

Man at ball game with baseball glove has foul ball directly come to him. Man with baseball glove does not catch the ball.

Man one row behind man with the glove, encouraged by the 'Ooohs' and nonchalant attitude of the man with glove, playfully engages with the heckle of, "Hey, Elijah Woods called... YOU SUCK!"

Puzzled, the man with the glove turns around to face the man one row behind and replies, "Sorry?"

Hesitant, but still with the confidence of a bubble bee in spring, the man one row behind snorts, "Heh, you suck. Ya know, cuz ya, uh, dropped the ball dere."

"Oh yea, I can comprehend the part that I suck," the man with the glove shot back. "But Elijah Wood called?..."

"Yeah, he, uh sucks."

"Oh, well most people don't think he sucks, so I was pretty confused..."

"Yeah, yeah you suck like Elijah Woods sucks at being in movies."

"Elijah WOOD."

"Yeah."

The man with the glove flushed on an angry shade of red. "You've been calling him Elijah WOODS, his name is Elijah WOOD."

"Whoa, sorry. I didn't know I'd be messing with his fan club here. Haha. C'mon you're alright, huh?"

"I'm not that big of an Elijah Wood fan, sir! What I am a fan of is Reason and Logic. Judging from the pronunciation from his name I bet you only know him from the Lord of The Rings?"

"Yeah... and that movie sucked."

Man with glove shrugs his shoulders so stiffly, the resulting crack made the leftfielder misread a ball.

"I am not here to debate any opinions of any movies or actors sir. But based on your insult and the fact that you refered to the Lord of the Rings as a singular movie, I feel I will outweigh in a battle of intellect, so I am going to turn around and appreciate baseball on my level of understanding, and you continue to enjoy it in yours." The man with his gloves starts to glomb back in his chair.

"Well, I bet you can't name any other Elijah Woods movies neither..." the man one row behind picked and flinged out of his teeth."

It is important to note that this is a Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim home baseball, who the man with the glove is an avid fan of. He is so much of a fan that in addition to bringing a Nolan Ryan glove he had since he was 11, he also has the official licensed replica Angels baseball cap. That cap, colored red, coupled with how red the man with the glove's face got, made for the reddest head any casual baseball fan has ever seen.

The man with the glove uncorked his mouth and out spewed: "1) The Good Son. North. He was in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Ang Lee's The Ice Storm.... more recently Sin City. 2) The core of your argument is based on not enjoying a critical, financial, and global success of a movie that everyone loves; a movie that, despite its successes, you think isn't good, and therefore learned a close semblance of one of the actor's name to use as a derogatory comment at a public venue? 3) Quote: "You suck like he sucks at being in movies". You, a grown man who has mature and financial capability of treating himself to a baseball game, could not think of the word for acting. Sidenote to 3) You said being in movies, yet stated you only saw him in one movie. You sir don't have your facts straight. And finally 4) That despite my previous telling it to you a minute ago, you still pronounced his name incorrectly. IT'S WOOD. NO 'S'!"

You could hear Torii Hunter's deep breath as he commited to a double.

The crowd cheers but with a line from the man one row behind inside it saying, "Alright. You made your point, let's watch the ball game."

The man with the glove, weighed down by his smile, leans deep in his chair completely ignorant of the fact that he missed catching foul ball.

Jul 30, 2009

The Hidden Cameras - In the NA


And its an empty feeling. This is a small vacuum inside an ever present tornado, but still- you attached. And its gone from you. The writing was on the wall for 5 years, deservedly so, but its actually happened. Its more the feeling after throwing up. Post purge. You want the best for them. And look- history show, this just isn't the place to be. Now the we burned the fields, and replanting the seeds. This could go quicker than 17 years, but we're already 17 years into the drought. This shouldn't make sense. But kids, you have so much for me to live up to, which isn't a lot.
----- signed,
BuccosFan8510


Shoulders, Ears: In the NA

this wasn't an entry: this was mental anguish

May 1, 2009

City Center - City Center


Year 3004 Port A- Syro System Twenty Five Pound Bags Baseball Club Majori League Base and ball.

Yes, its another year for the 25lb Baggers. Last years finish in the 45th runner up to Sceration Section 2 Galaxial Series was disappointing given the talent of this bal club. Right. So lets get to the opening day roster sponsered by Jyro-spewzz One Time Use Pet Collars.

Leadoff hitter, and 5 legged center-fielder- Wyndamer Anstel from the mutant section of Earth in Cabo San Lucas.

Wind Powered 3rd and 4th baseman- Hine Swatter Lefffv - he, er, it is a Curmonit and therefore can't digest, giving him good opposite field pull.

The Physical Formation of Hubris bats third and is the catcher.

Hitting clean up and in left field is President Friday D. Mubbgleofly, now he is President of the East United States, not to be confused with West US President Hanspread Johns, who is dying.

The first Animal to ever play in league history Carew the Bear is playing 1st base tonight.

Hitting 6 is short stop Saur the Impendant, who is sentenced to play this game for life after making Cilantro extinct.

Right Fielder Fielding Richmond, certified Astropolytheistic Science metanuclear Genius two times over. Legend of the game in his 30th season- used to be able to bunt for a home-run.

And for mandatory comic relief we have the ghost of James Carey- comedic actor from a thousand years ago. He's manning 2nd tonight and will be doing scenes from Lemony Snicket's Series of Misfortunate Events.

Ando finall0 hitting 9th and pitching, as always, is setting 4 on pitch on matic.

Those are things I said and now things are going on. Lets have sports on!


Thats you in 6 months and you look great: Life Was a Problem

Impressive Food: Lobster filled with Steak