Special Segment: The Search for Higher Meaning: Animaniacs "Acquaintences"

Hey what's up. Dumb Reviews has decided that every Friday, we will do a special segment. Last week was special segment week, and those went over well enough. So every month has 4 Fridays, and each of those will correlate to a special segment I did last week. But some months have 5 Fridays, and that's where this post comes in. This special segment is called The Search for Higher Meaning. I did a post like this before about Tex Avery's Who Killed Who, and I like cartoons so much that I might as well do a post like this every once in a while. Today: Animaniacs in "Acquaintences".

The Animaniacs took Steven Spielberg's idea of bastard Looney Tune Children that became Tiny Toons, into a more satirical, original route. It was a more conventional comedic grouping, and moved away from the shadows of Looney Tunes into a more Chuck Jones/ Tex Avery style of mayhem. Needless to say Chuck Jones and Tex Avery made the best Looney Tunes, but their shadows extend to a much more prolific grounds. That's just me on my high horse though.

Animaniacs took risks and didn't really care about its child audience. They simply knew the kids would be there because its a cartoon. The result of which was a smart, modern comedy. This specific episode captures the mentality pretty well. The 3 antagonistic protagonists are thrown in a situation and annoy people we find annoying. Simple simple simple. The jokes work on many levels. As physical gags, and as just a parody of Friends.

We get a small undercut of immigration jokes which is made all the more funnier when put against the idea of a show like Friends. People come to New York for this freedom, but really Americans are just spoiled 'trendies drinking cups of joe'. That line is taken from the Acquaintences Theme Song, as biting satire to sum up Friends in with the opening line "who would ever thought that this could be a show?" The music throughout the episode is spot on- from the clapping in the theme to the linking electric guitar riffs. Everything is spot (but by design, not necessarily) on. Broad strokes are taken to the Friends paradigm, which comes off as mean- but I kind of enjoy that.

The criticisms of the episode, and in fact Animaniacs overall, is their stagnation in remaining a testament. The bits, such as instead of throwing the Warners out- the Friends cast is somehow thrown out instead, are funny- but funny in a classic manner. It really all depends how much you have seen the joke before. They even hit the same joke twice in referencing sitcoms. While The Brady Bunch joke works more as a non sequitar to eat up time, the Seinfeld joke works as a natural ending. It's more ho hum than anything, but so was the nature of cartoons in the 90s. They were great to an extent, bogged down by their love of nostalgia. Animaniacs can deliver episodes like Acquaintances all they want, and they'll make you laugh (directly calling Matt LeBlanc Tony Danza is really funny). They also make you want to watch other cartoons as well. Thank goodness we had Slappy the Squirrel, the Hip Hippos, Good Feathers, Chicken Boo, Randy Beaman's friend Colin, Good Idea Bad Idea, and Pinky et the Brain to round them all out.

I'm glad that Animaniacs existed and had the same view of Friends I did. I'm glad they can sneak in jokes like a sexy silhouette and make it turn out to be just Yakko. I'm glad they can reference how stupid laugh tracks are, and I'm glad they can make fat jokes and references to foiles bergere without batting an eye. I'm just not going to tell you I love it. Animaniacs- you're about a B in my book.

Review: The 1st verse of 'Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" by Busta Rhymes

Twenty Ten.

Hot shit.

Check it out.

So this post isn't to take any of the accomplishments made by Busta Bust- I mean he helped make it acceptable to say woo hah, he was in a resurrection of the Halloween move franchise (Halloween: Ressurection), and he was the third best part of 'I Love My Chick' after Kellis and Will.He.Be. But- honestly- in 'Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See' I don't get him. Is he trying to be funny, or fundamentally ironic or something?

Hit you with no delayin so what you sayin yo
Silly with my nine milly what the deally yo
When I be on the mic yes I do my duty yo

-OK first three lines here: all end in Yo. One you're allowed, and you used it right away. 2, you say what the deally yo a lot, that's great I'm not mad. 3- You just added yo. We wanna keep things rhymey so we can bust them, but you just added Yo. That's not busting rhymes, that's taking the easy way out. Taykin E-Z WayOw is how you would spell that name that you deserve. There's more.

Wild up in the club like we wylin the studio
You don't want to violate nigga really and truly-o

-You used studio, an actual word that fits. Trying to build up your credit. Next line: you cashed it all in again by simply adding O. You know who does that? People who can't rap.

My main thug nigga named Julio he moodio
Type of nigga that'll slap you with the toolio
Bitch nigga scared to death ask fruity-o
Fuck that look at shorty she a little cutie-o
The way she shake it make me want to get all in the booty yo

-All the first verse is- o sounds so the listener knows when a line is done. Also I don't think you have an acquaintance named Julio. If you did, he wouldn't want to be part of a song where you invent a word to describe him to keep up with your rhyme scheme. Nevermind that the made up word is already a word just with -io at the end, making it not a good made up word, but your actual name fits within the rhyme scheme and Busta doesn't use it to the full potential. That being said- the next three lines rhyme without the o. Fruity, Cutie, Booty. But you've made your bed, you're lying in it, your ass sweat causes the sheets to cling to your body. Also you're a rapper and you used booty in your song. You're lucky this was 1997.

Tap mistresses and bangin bitches in videos
Wild up in my freak like we up in the freak shows
Hit you with the shit make you feel it all in your toes
Hot shit got all you niggas in wet clothes
Stylin my metaphores when I formulate my flows
If you don't know you're fuckin with the real player pros (like that)

-You're using real words now- great. Just great. I can argue that saying freak and freak show in the same line is redundant, but I'm impressed with your ability to rhymes Toes and Wet Clothes. 2 of my favorite visuals. But when you say Styling my Metaphors when I formulate my Flows, is that the excuse you are giving for adding -o to most of the lines in the first verse? They were a product of styled and formulated flows? You answer my question saying that I am fucking with the real player pros, but I don't see a downfall to fucking with (again redundant) real player pros. What is the ultimatum you are giving me- and what is the purpose of the song? Like what?

Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See is a necessary evil title/chorus. It paved the way for much stupider instructions (like Leaning Back) in rap songs, and it made us think that Busta Rhymes had a hand fetish. The second verse is better- out of the 24 lines- he ends them with the word us in 8 of them, that 25%. Luckily he found out about adjectives. Adjectives such as: curious, mysterious, murderous, serious, victorious, marvelous, yea you get the picture. You get the picture so much that Busta Rhymes is a multi-millionaire from it. Like I said, er, implied, he's a fun guy. He was on arguably the best song on the Space Jam soundtrack. He was sent back in time by William Shakespeare on Celebrity Death He's friends enough with Space Ghost (note this clip sucks, but it the only one on Youtube). He just needs to apply himself like he did on Iz They Wildin Wit Us and Gettin Rowdy Wit Us?

I look forward to hearing his response.

Review: People who say their Goatees are inspired late career Ray Bourque

There is exactly one good reason to have a goatee. And that reason is an excuse and that excuse is: you didn't know you had one. Like you fell asleep with out one and didn't look at the mirror all day, or you just fell over and strategic parts of your face hit razors so slightly as to shave of your beard cheeks. I'm fine with that. Looking down the line of people who had a goatee, I find hardly anybody I respect on that list. Not even Common can pull one off (please not the visual idea of someone ripping Common's goatee off). The list of goatee'd men is closer to the list of people I enjoy through irony: Ray Traylor aka Big Boss Man, Maynard Krebs aka not Gilligan, the one with the beret on Mythbusters... but then we get to late stage career Ray Bourque. A long time Boston Bruin, he realized the only way to win a championship was to abandon hope and sell out. Ray Bourque is still to this day the only Boston Bruin I can name, so him jumping ship is the equivalent of Cal Ripkin Jr playing for the Florida Marlins, or Allen Iverson playing team basketball. I think Ray Bourque knew what he was doing, and I think Ray Bourque had some mild Star Trek knowledge. As we recall evil Spock had a goatee. So did evil Cartman. So Ray Bourque growing a goatee because he recognizes that he is an evil bastard with bastard tendencies is almost a good enough reason to have a goatee.

So everyday people have goatees. Best Buy Employees, Your Little Sister's Boyfriend, The bassist in your neighbor's kid's band. I assume because they are bored. No matter what they might tell you, they did not think this through. The goatee had to be seen on someone and then through a series of brain thinking, the conclusion of "Say, that looks good" was arrived. Now Ray Bourque's tight goat came after a career defined by non-goatee playing. But his Stanley Cup came when he did have the circle beard. Which, at the time, temporarily lifted the curse of goatee. Everyone was so happy for Ray that we didn't care about his face being splotched on by prickly spines of hair that ranged from white to orange. We just wanted to see someone happy after having that person have a great last name for so long. Therefore- people who say their goatee is inspired by Ray Bourque are still awful. But at least you can think about how awful they are even more.

Now Ray only had the facial feature for the playoffs, the playoffs were he was carried by a much more talented team designed to win a championship for Ray so people would remember that this is the team a popular player won his championship with. Traditionally one grows a playoff beard. Ray Bourque though had to trump those ideals and trim that shit up a bit. Trimming is a word associated with vanity. Now vain Ray Bourque is the Ray Bourque we always see when we see him with the Stanley Cup. What an awful way to remember a man who had more shots on goal by far than anyone in NHL history. Look at that goatee- its like Satan's curly butthole hairs.

Review: Stomach Cramps

Stomach cramps make you realize how soft your stomach is. Even if you work out. Even if you work out odd. Even if you work in. Not to mention the pain associated with stomach cramps. More like stomach clamps, huh? For a mental picture- your stomach is a pumpkin hollowed out to such an extreme degree the walls are as thick as 3 nickels taped together. Now fill that pumpkin with fresh sea water, and find the angriest clam you can. (Angry clams are a delicacy amongst people who can detect emotional state within their food (have you tried grateful cow?) so you'd have to go to the angriest sea to find such clams. Brought to you by The Adriatic Sea Tourism Bureau.) So you have these angry clams in the pumpkin and the pumpkin is your stomach. Eventually these clams will get perturbed by their confinement they will swish and swarsh their hard shell bodies with pointier tips into the pumpkin lining. All that description was so I can say Stomach Clams. Can I make any more jokes? Oh- in indonesia when they get stomach cramps, they make you wrestle other stomach cramped people, while both your hands are tied together above your head- the winner of the fight is the Stomach Champs. So that's clamps, clams, and champs. 3 wordplay is usually enough. Don't wanna over do the word play.

DING DONG.... oh that's my blog's doorbell, let me answer that.

"Congratulations Mr Shively! You have made it through a blog entry about Stomach Cramps and did not make a poop joke once!"

Really! Thanks, I mean I couldn't of done it without a little help from my friends.

Review: This on Facebook

Yeah, you're probably reading this on Facebook. That's a good thing. That you're even reading this is a GOOD THING. But, this on Facebook looks like I'm just a plethora of notes. I am certain you are smart enough to realize this is a link to a blog, DumbReviews.blogspot.com, but am not confident enough with myself to not mention so.

So this mentions so and it gets it out of the way. Getting it out of the way is all I really wanted to do. And since I am, I might as well say that comments don't appear on the blog if you comment on Facebook- which isn't to discourage you from commenting, please do, but to say to you to comment on the blog in case you don't want to keep being notified if other people comment. See I'm helping. Really this entry serves no purpose in the long run, it'll just remind me that I link to it on Facebook and was concerned about that linking for a minute there. Also, I put in a picture of one of those wolf boys trying to be normal. He almost has it down. Aside from all the hair growing out of his face.