Black Moth Super Rainbow - Eating Us

THIS IS SKI BALL COUNTRY

Tyler came into that Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party. His previous experiences, other birthday parties, would have shaken any 6 year old to their core. Bigger kids in the ball pit, getting the gas and break confused during mario kart, women in mouse costumes. No, this was not Tyler's idea of fun. Yet here Tyler is. He is here for one reason, and that reason is tickets. Tyler Dunselberry had become somewhat of a legend around these parts. Being the first of his peers to hit anything higher than 20 point score on ski ball. He hit the dead center 50, not once not twice, but once and almost again. This brought young Tyler's ticket count up to 17. Seventeen. Let that sink in. 17 tickets was golf, he was buying fake bugs, flip frogs and erasers left and then right. Tyler was the popular kid. Tyler knew his friend's, Braden and Edgar, were jealous of his skills. He knew Sophie Chang, the girl of his naps, was so impressed and told her friends about it. He knew Vaco De Luce, the 8 year old who visited his Grandma that was Tyler's neighbor, would hear of his exploits and think he was cooler than the kid who didn't know what a virgin was. This was Tyler's time. This was Tyler's reason for waking up. This would be Tyl.... lanes are full? Shit I'm ganna go get me some of that whack mole action. Thanks dude, awesome party too.

 its cool thanks: Iron Lemonade

your mousatche fell off: you're not really an inspector!

Magic Arm - Make Lists Do Something

Are you getting phased out? Classic signs are: recognizing the signs. not getting a birthday cake when you lie about your birthday. being chased by dinosaurs. renewed kinship with birdbathes. more time spent on porches. not swimming during beach trips to the beach morgue. you dress like that. anal seepage. developed admiration for Hagar the Horrible. teddy bear condoms. getting off on not finishing concrete pools for friends and loved ones. using rulers to measure. typing with 2 hands. constantly telling people that you call it the forest not the woods. gaining weight. loosing weight. handshakes literally. you use best intentions. you cry at funerals. you get suspended from high school. vents seem larger. vents seem normal size. you know who Miranda Cosgrove is. you know who killed the radio star. you have friends in other states. you like the magnets on your fridge. you're dying. you're the best friend of someone you know. you brush your teeth with a toothbrush you chose. breakdancing is still not interesting. you have vietnam flashbacks. you can feel the color indigo. you've walked the last three batters. you buy a case of rubber gloves for your future golden years. you're being phased out. you're on the cover of People. your daughter's breasts are perkier than yours. your favorite batman movie was that one. you watch your dog sleep more than you watch your dog wake up. you like banks. you know where vending machines are. you haven't used the word gang in 5 years. you're impressed by folding. you are soooooooooooooo much.

Blankets applied forcefully song of rebellion: Bootsy Bootsy

Literary Term: Scarecrow's Beachball: Pumpkin

bearhug - birds

No, I said it was a matter of life and deaf. No, Paco is fine, he just can't hear cleary. No, he can hear some words. No, I don't think he can teach 5th grade. No, he doesn't have a teaching license. No, he can't read lips he'll probably learn sign language. No, he can't hear us now. No, he's in his bedroom upstairs. No, he's not going to kill himself. No, most deaf people have functional lives and contribute to society. No, I don't want your number. No, I don't wanna give you mine. No, his concerto will never get finished. No, it wasn't any good. No, I don't know that for sure without ever hearing the ending. No, Paco's instruments are actually all body parts. No, its tasteful. No, we've seen Mr. Holland's Opus. No, I don't know the porno named after it. No, the safety is on. No, rice traditionally isn't canned. No, Wednesdays no good. No, yes. No, they should always be kept in a cool dry fold. No, I don't think this was a good idea. No, those are sandals. No, Paco can still have sex. No, I'm not speaking for every deaf person. No, I think some deaf people, like some people, like myself, get off on the screaming. No, I didn't say crying. No, I have. No, that is how Paco became deaf in the first place. No, its not a life choice. No, I didn't apologize. No, he didn't find out. Yes, can't get around that one.

If you find an Ipod at UCB with 2 cat stickers doing it: Out of the Cave

Just of the top of my head: Allergy Pez

Viva Voce - Rose City

You know what this zoo needs? EYEBROWS! Eyebrows everywhere. A zoo brimmed with bush browed creatures and furrowing face fuzz. Manatees can use the eyebrows to sift their food probably. Elephants can use their eyebrows to distract from their ugly faces. Eyebrows can be used for storage nets like velcro for bats and birds. And goodness knows the ocelots can use a tune up. And we can have a pit of eyebrows, a man eating eye brow, fake eyebrows that cost 5 dollars each and real animal eyebrows for 700 dollars each. We can have catchphrases like "Go to the zoo right brow!' We'd have the most eyebrows per square zoo inch. Yes eyebrows, and I'm not an idiot.

I dunno we can glue them on? Is there a pill? Skin grafting? Is there eyebrow baldness? Is that a thing, a real problem? I know I'm getting off subject here. But what happens if a person can't grow eyebrows? Well, what I'm getting at, is we find him and help him and then help our zoo too. I don't know if its a him, I just said it was a him, it could be a her. I said him cuz baldness happens more in men. What, really? She is? Well then the carpet matches the drapes, heh.

Why does one of my favorite bands: Suck Now?

Douche Name/Funny Tshirts: Christian Hunter

Huggy Bear - Taking the Rough with the Smooch

Hey man, you ever encapsulated your penis? What? Everybody is doing it, its the thing to do from peer pressure. Dude, dude, dude here take this zip lock bag, put it like so- tuck it under the balls, and I'm just ganna suck the air out here... there. Penis feel choked? Nice huh? There are other levels you can take. Most men just straight up choke theirs, but your thumbs look week. Here look at mine--- its in a wood block, I chisel away at it to heighten the experience. I tried putting a termite on here, but it crawled up my pee hole, and got the taste of human bone. It created a master race of termites, and was a national epidemic. We just sold the movie rights. I also have a stack of CDs I glued together and I just force my penziis thru the hole here. If you really want to get extreme- you can have glass blown on your dickus, we have these mini beartraps, you can try vacuum hoses but there have been incidents of turning the cock shaft inside out. It looks pretty cool, its all veiny. Whats that? Is that a joke? I dont get it... blue balls? Mah hrm?

Unintentional Older Album Fridays are alright: Herjazz

Developed by and Starring Senior Citizens: Soccer Porn