Broke Bank Mountain

He never knows.

I broke the bank today.

I tipped a waitress out of pity.

I broke a bank today.

I pulled the pen chain off the pen chain mount.

I broke my bank today.

The piggy kind. Hammer-style. TV Cliche-Style.

I broke up banks today.

They were fighting all the time. He's too good for her anyway. Better financing, shorter lines, etc. He's going to get that 2nd ATM machine he's always been talking about.

I broke-through banks today.

They were dealing with some deep emotional shit. The robber in the re-occuring heist nightmare- it was their own face they saw.

I broke Hillary Banks today.

It's easy enough since her fiance Trevor died. You should try it.

I broke and bank today.

I also sleep. I eat. I brush teeth. I envy icicles.

I broke down bank today.

The B is for baby. A, accountants. N, never. K, know.

Better Names for: Reba McEntire

- Freeba Ameritire, Deepa McChopra, Creepa McPrespire, Tuba McFluta, Treba Track'n'Tire, Garla McFreebird, Holly Jones, Su Chin Pak, Huntress Buford, Jo'mamma Whitesnake, Reba Seinfeld, Reba Jamal-Warner, Reba KFC, Reba McTallica, Reba McRighttobeararms, Sartre McDoodlebus, Christian Fellowship, Banksy Jr, Honda, Ford, Oldsmobile, Lawn, Work, Plain, Plane, Sky, No, Of Course, Boobs, Crap, Boob Crap, Lydia Conway

If You Go to: DumbReviews.com

With my sub-par Spanish, I can translate this through pictures:

-"Now You Can Buy a Zero Kilometer for an Absurd Small"

-Menor Postor= Smaller Postor

-"Simply by using your phone- you can purchase a smaller phone that you can pay with using installment plans that fluctuate randomly. This insures that you really did fall for whatever the fuck we're selling (eco-phones? cars for homeless people to live in?). Lord Joseph Mary Mother of Heaven Bless our endeavor, as we have endeavied those who bless us. Amen. Amirite.



DumbReviews.com--- big enough to get our domain stolen by poor people.

As Slang: Bladder

Black Ladder.

Blackadder.

Sequel to Blaxploitation Bad Santa.

Great Things That've Happened: WiZ!

Full Song (DIRTY/NSFW/REPETITIVE):

Faggot

I think the word faggot should be used for the people who are offended by the word faggot. Then when they embrace that word and use it as a rallying cry/term of endearment- they should be legally called that for 6 years.

Anyone who is offended by words really. Anyone who is offended really. Anyone really. Any. A.

How to take a picture inside a Kangaroo Pouch

1) Dress your camera as a baby kangaroo.

2) Leave it at the zoo, australian outback, or outback steakhouse

3) Hope.

Nothing About: Laurent Fabious

After being ostracized for being an ostrich, Laurent Fabious wrote the play 'Ostrichized' which won many Multiple Awards (the awards given to winning awards) and played exclusively on Mediterranean Cruise ships (Dubrovnik to Korkula islands route). The play was about an ostrich with no neck finding his faith thru the power of savings.

After he killed his way through the PrimoGynetic Wars of the late 70s Yugoslavian Avant Science, Laurent invented the mime act of using hair gel. Mimes today use the act to show that: they are getting ready, their hair is a miss, and to mime spike their hair. He was inducted into the Mime Hall of Fame on September 11, 2000 in the East Wing of the Homemade Costume Division Building.

Countless flowers have been named after Laurent Fabious, including the Balding Fabious, the Teenaged Fabious, the untame my Fabious, and the orthax coup (named from Fabious' controversial birth breathing technique which is banned anywhere oxygen is present).

Laurent Fabious, a true pioneer*.

*I have simply heard the name Laurent Fabious and assumed all these things because I wanted to. To do your own research I can just simply link to his wikipedia page.

Joking About Japan

"If the whole world is supposed to end in 2012, Japan is always looking ahead anyway."

There is no overstating how tragic the events in Japan over the last 2 weeks have been. It is an obvious fact that should not be dismissed by stubborn attitudes or self-imposed ignorance.

What some people need to realize however is that humans think completely differently. Which is to say that thinking about Japan and being yourself (for certain people) leads to offensive jokes. For an example of this I turn to one of the great purveyors of 'too soon' Gilbert Gottfried:

"“I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said ‘is there a school in this area.’ She said ‘not now, but just wait.’”

Of course that is in bad taste. Of course. Gilbert obviously knows that. And it should be obvious that is why he did that. Saying something offensive doesn't mean (necessarily) that you're insensitive. It means that is simply a way of how you deal with a tragedy.

Gilbert is a stand-up comedian who has accomplished a great deal by sticking to his own persona. If he censors himself in anyway, he is doing a creative disservice to himself and to his fans. If you're offended, well you are supposed to be offended. Being offended is where the majority of the humor comes in.

Tragedy is news. News is life. Life is too serious. Sorry to anyone offended. Sorry for maybe even making a point 'too soon'. Time heals all wounds. And tragedy + time = comedy. There is really no difference in those sayings. Time is merely subjective.

Just expect something.

There has been so much going on (learning Advanced Statistics over General Statistics for Social Media marketing, Marcus Thornton getting minutes for the Kings, forming my opinion on cult Canadian program 'Trailer Park Boys', consistent fingernail maintenance, and an increased social consciousness) that this blog has been neglected.

1. You're welcome. 2. Hey wait a minute, you shouldn't be welcomed. 3. I really meant 'your welcome?' Like your welcome to me is with open arms? 4. That doesn't make sense. 5. Yeah well.

This is a blog where I simply review things, and that mostly meant TV shows and movies and having pictures expire a week after I post them.

Just expect something.