unscheduled post

Not Outlandish Statements Concerning David Alan Grier in Jumanji

Switching Robin Williams' and David Alan Grier's roles in Jumanji (the cop gets sucked into the fame, Alan Parish winds up a cop) would've made it a more interesting movie without sacrificing the Family/Adventure aspect of the film.

In the movie, his character Carl Bentley, invents the sneaker at a shoe factory and was called Soul (Sole?) Man. It is still within reason that Carl Bentley could've also invented the shutter shades, the fist bump, boomboxes, doo-rags, the black penis being larger stereotype, and self-confidence.

Carl Bentley doesn't have a partner because they would slow his roll.

The moustache David Alan Grier grew in Jumanji is now used to clean the bottom of steamer ships.

Jumanji was filmed in Keene, New Hampshire, making D.A.G. the first black person to get a paycheck in the state.

David Alan Grier is legally obligated to appear in a movie about a fake gameboard 6 more times before he retires. He was supposed to be in 'Zathura' but backed out when director Jon Favreau told him that the porno parody rights were sold to a small startup (he only supports established/union-member porn studios)

The Cross-Section Demographic of The Academy Awards and the NBA All-Star Game

I'd rather the title of this post to be "The Cross-Section Demographic of The Independent Spirit Awards and the NBA All-Star Saturday Night". Or "Grantland Demographic".

Options to watch tonight (2/26/2012 and no HBO means no Eastbound and Down) are the Oscars and the NBA All Star Game. There are pros and cons with each. I'll already tell you that I'm going to watch the Oscars and that it was an easy choice.

While both entail much scrutiny and speculation and have big stars, the All Star game is still just an exhibition. The Oscars are way more important, might have Nat Faxon give a speech, and offer some historic significance that I might have a chance to remember for upwards to 15 years.

NBA All Star games are great. They add to the legend of Glen Rice, are great for shoe watching, and made a great Tracy Jordan reference ("..having a daughter is like going to the NBA All Star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor"). Still, it means nothing. Michael Jordan plays 20 minutes max. Tom Gugliotta is still undervalued.

The scheduling of these 2 on the same night is still problematic. Which one will I live tweet? If this happens again in the future, what one will be more likely to have a Kevin Hart appearance? Or when Shaq gets an Oscar nod, where will he go then? The answers will always favor the Oscars.

QUALITY SNEEZE GUARDS

Mardi Gras 2012: the first Mardi Gras of 2012

The silence made when you peel off a scab. Peeel with 3 e's, wherein the third is feeling. A fling feeling, a flying feline, a freed fry. 

The pain associated with is the pain of association. I know you while you know you more than I know you. You know no nose, noses knew no knot. You don't look at people in the face, the face don't care about your denim jacket with the comfort lining. The house that was made from that jacket lured curious children with no manners to it because you leave candy in the pockets. Lifesavers aren't mints but you can spit them much farther.

"Love what you can when you don't know what you're capable of," pausing to exhale, "Fitter's Union." She never addressed us with heart like that again. The cheesy part says because it was broken, the cheezy part said it was she never had one to begin with. The real-life knows what I say to you and what I hang above you when you sleep.

Hunters, love thy gatherers.